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janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com

Tips to Survive a Narcissistic Boss or Toxic Work Environment

Over the past 35+ years, I’ve coached some pretty amazing, highly competent career coaching clients through difficult work relationships, into exit strategies if needed, and on to recovery from business or corporate PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.) It happens all too frequently. I felt compelled to write some basic guidelines to help you through a tough circumstance. We'll break this article down into the following sections: Tips for Survival Identifying the Toxic Boss Acknowledging Narcissistic or Toxic Behavior Your Experience with a Toxic Situation How to Take Care of Yourself Healing Afterward Workplace Toxicity and Trauma Tips For Survival We often hear about ineffective employees. What about the lethal, abusive, toxic, or harassing boss, manager or co-worker? No matter how much money you are making, how prestigious the position or how high-paying the salary, being treated this way takes a huge toll on your energy and productivity, your psyche, and your soul. There are few things worse for the human spirit than working all day at a job that you experience as boring or where you're disengaged. Right up there is also if you're spending hours in a negative environment. Experienced as even worse for the human psyche and soul is working with toxic or abusive people. Even if the abuse is not aimed "at" you, observing others being bullied, undermined, or maliciously being gossiped about or shunned—mean behavior—is a signal such behavior could always be turned on you. It sets people on high alert. Who Is The Toxic [...]

Tackle a Career Transition or Job Change with Confidence

My 27-year-old goddaughter just completed her Master's Degree in Career Counseling and landed her first major full-time position within the University of California educational system. And, she did all this during the Coronavirus pandemic! What made the difference in her successfully launching her career path you ask? As I observed Emily create her path, it was a strategic, step-by-step, evolving journey that took into account 1.) her current needs and over time 2.) fully embraced her future wants. It involved a conscious willingness to stretch out of her comfort zone while also having the support, coaching, and mentoring from professors, employers, and professionals. Of course, like each of you, she'll go through a number of these transitions as she grows in her career and integrates other personal aspects in her life. Happily, she's discovered a "formula" that will be useful each time she enters a new phase. You can implement this self-discovery formula too. No matter your age or career and life stage, this approach—a strategic step-by-step, evolving journey—toward your next career/life transition is going to reap you the life and career that you will call "success," and that will allow you to thrive. The rest of this article will tackle the following topics if you continue to read through: Forging a Career and Life Path You Love Salary Breakdowns by Gender and Occupation from PayScale data More Examples of Pandemic Career Transition Success Ten Year Survey of Job Changers Tips to Approach a Job Change Career coaching helps [...]

How to Know if You Are A Lightning Rod for Negativity in a Toxic Work Environment

Toxic work environments cause people to question themselves and their judgments. Sometimes it becomes difficult to know if you are doing a good job, or not, because of the negative feedback or response. We're going to break this article down into two sections: Common Characteristics of a Lightning Rod Tips for Grounding Yourself and Dealing With Business Bullies   Common Characteristics of the Lightning Rod Is This What You are Experiencing? You’re an expert at what you do. You take your work seriously. You are probably a perfectionist and always try to do an excellent job. You have high values and standards for yourself and your work. You see the wide-ranging impact of your work on other facets of the work in your department and the company. You “walk your talk” meaning you are consistent and aligned in all your talk and actions. You are a professional and try to stay “adult” in all your interactions. More often than not, but not always, you are female. Your age, stage in career, or experience level does not matter. At other companies you always got along; It’s surprising or hard to figure out why you are treated this way. No matter what you do it seems to draw negative attention or reaction. Even the people you supervise know you are on a “hit list” from above. Your self-esteem is plummeting. You used to feel appropriately confident in your skills. Now you are plagued with self-doubts. You dread going to work. Common Characteristics [...]

How to Keep the Personal out of Professional Communication

Let’s be honest, communication could be portrayed by many as one of the most important factors of relationships — both business and personal. I’m here to tell you that even though communication has been around for thousands of years, it has yet to find perfection. Let me narrow down the field of vision a bit, specifically, communication in the workplace. I’m a Millennial. I value communication. One form of communication that is very important to me and is a huge part of my value system is the idea of feedback. I’ve always received feedback: teachers, parents, coaches, friends, other family members, strangers on the street, social media acquaintances, and so on. I thrive on feedback. I want to know how I’m doing all the time. It’s how I attribute success. "When I hear I’m doing a good job from others, I truly believe it myself."   Communication mishaps happen all the time, especially in the workplace. Even if you have the best boss and coworkers in the world, there’s bound to be some communication confusion at one point in time. Here are some things to keep in mind for effective communication: Ask questions. One magical thing about human beings is that each person has their own mind and their own thoughts. It’s okay to ask for clarification. One common mishap occurs when there’s confusion with the messages. Not everyone is a skilled communicator. It’s important to clearly understand the message being conveyed. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for failure from [...]

Tips For Taking Care of You in a Toxic Environment

Ideally, your workplace is where you are encouraged and empowered to make a difference. A job should be one of the ways in which you learn and grow as a person, and you feel you are making a contribution. If that is not true for you, and you are experiencing negative feelings, bullying, nasty competitiveness, or other bad behavior on a regular basis, what are your choices? This article will break down the following areas for you... Assessing your situation Understanding the gap Reflecting before you act Avoid calling attention to yourself Stop being a lightning rod for negativity Seek out support and resources Deciding whether to stay or leave As a business transformation consultant and career transition coach, when partnering with my client, together we assess 2 aspects of your work situation: First, we look internally to if there are any ways you might be contributing to your own negative experience by being what I call a lightning rod, possibly making your already negative situation worse. At the same time, we assess your surroundings and work circumstances, including the behavior of your boss and coworkers.   Even if ultimately leaving your current job becomes your choice, use your time remaining as an opportunity for learning and growth by applying the tips below. Assess the Situation Dave Chapman, author of a site dedicated to fighting workplace bullies offers these signs of a toxic work environment: Widespread anger and frustration Scapegoating–the blaming of someone else Dysfunctional relationships Dysfunctional meetings Blatant hypocrisy [...]

Can’t See A Career Future? 7 Ways to Develop Your Skills Even in a Dead-End Job (While Looking for Another)

DJHP / Careers If you're just surviving at work, here are some ways to get your head out of the sand and personally thrive while looking for a new position. Face the Facts It's amazing how many people are dissatisfied in their everyday worklife. In a recent presentation, Jeffry Brown, President of Global CashSpot reminded his audience that 80% of employees report being unhappy. That today people work 164 hours longer than 20 years ago. That the average person spends 90,000 hours on the job over a lifetime, and that less than 55% of that time is productive. Where are you on this workforce continuum of negative statistics? So much time spent at work - shouldn’t you feel challenged, grow your skills. even enjoy it? If you don’t like your current employer, find your colleagues annoying, or do something that bores you to tears, you need to ask yourself why you’re staying put, how to make the most of it while you are there and then how to move on. After answering that question, it’s probably time to starting looking for a new position. But don’t just bide your time until you find a new one. It’s a waste of valuable hours. Be proactive and put them to good use. Go Beyond Survival No matter what your age or life stage, there are three cornerstones to life planning that are necessary to create a better future. These include self development planning, life development planning, career development planning and — if [...]

Impartial Management: Doing Away with Favorites

DJHP / Leaders Nothing is more disheartening for employees than being on a team where its leader just seems to play favorites — unless, of course, you’re one of the chosen few. You get your pick of projects, find yourself constantly tapped for input, and may even enjoy a little preferential treatment when it comes time for promotions. Even then you might not feel you can trust the spotlight, especially if your leader shows any fickleness. But that’s really a story for another day. The thing about favoritism is that it’s become almost an epidemic. Sounds alarmist, I know. But according to a survey by McDonough School of Business at Georgetown University,92 percent of senior business executives have seen some level of favoritism in the workplace. While this number may appear high, it does stand to reason. If you click, you just click, and this can inadvertently lead to favoritism when you’re in an advisory role. Even something as innocent as a standing lunch date can turn into bias toward subordinates. We’re human, after all, and it’s difficult not to let our emotions hold sway over our decisions. To determine whether or not your attitude and actions are led by favoritism, I recommend taking stock of the following: Feedback. Everyone has his or her own managerial style. There’s nothing wrong with that, and this style inevitably affects how you deliver feedback. But this feedback should always be constructive in nature. It should set consistent expectations for every member of your [...]

Why Career Coaching is Important in Today’s Economy?

This was first published in 2000, but the principles remain the same today. Not so very long ago, Time Magazine published an article entitled “Play of the Day - Fostering employee loyalty in a tight labor market, companies are offering workers personal coaches as tools to help them thrive." The article describes how companies, many of them FORTUNE 500’s, such as IBM, Dow Chemical, Glaxo Welcome, Marriott International, and others including Eastman Kodak, Abbott Laboratories World Wide and Cap Gemini Ernst & Young, all have found the merits of hiring career and executive coaches to help their employees discover what it takes to make them content in the workplace. When this article was originally published, the economy was booming with no signs of slowing down, and they reasoned that offering coaching to your employees was a good thing to help retain them in an employee driven marketplace – if they are happier, hopefully they will stay. “Companies also see it as a way to help valued employees evolve in a swiftly changing business environment.” (Time, 9/25/00, p. B27) Just 5 months later, we might characterize the business sphere as more “unknown”, definitely rocky, with analysts walking the fence not knowing whether to predict stability in the near future or more economic difficulties throughout months to come. Companies are feeling the domino effect of slowing sales and revenues, a growing number are choosing to layoff a first round of workers as everyone tightens their belts. There is an atmosphere of taking [...]

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