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janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com

4 Steps to Frame a Change and Manage Your Team During a Transition Period Within Your Business

When business owners, business partners, and leaders learn to carefully frame a change for their team, group, or employees, they assume the position of role model and outline how they intend to approach the change, and how they expect others to respond and behave. This 4 Step approach to FRAME IT ensures greater success and more efficient outcomes. Unanticipated change within your company can elicit a wide range of emotional responses in you and your team. On one end of the continuum, change is sometimes met with enthusiasm if it's perceived as a positive. For example, if you provide increased healthcare or child care, or time off benefits, you will likely see relief, even joy, among your employees. Other types of changes however may be met with anxiety, even fear, when perceived as a threat to the status quo. This often occurs when there is a change of ownership when new leadership is brought on or there are shifts in roles and responsibilities. A third reaction to change in the work environment is a more neutral — a go with the flow, matter-of-fact, seemingly resilient response to shifts being implemented. This indicates the change is not threatening. No matter the size of your business, owners, business partners, group leaders, and team managers are faced with many demands in the work environment. Decisions made at these times roll out a series of change events for small business teams or for multiple business groups in a large organization. Success, for [...]

Relationship Reset: Let’s Clarify the Relationship You Desire

DIFFERENT STYLES IMPACT YOUR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS This video introduces 4 different styles of communicating and relating to one another that Dr. Jan has identified in every couple. When mixed together, they can create confusion and conflict. Consciously clarifying the style of relating your desire, and actively learning the skills to reach it, can help keep couples stay connected for a lifetime. Clarify Your Destination and Confidently Work Together to Get There You may be single, newly engaged, and planning your wedding, raising school-age children, or even facing the empty nest and “what shall we do now?” stage. It doesn’t matter where you are right now. What matters is—identifying your destination—where you want to grow with your relationship. Knowing your options and how you want to work together is key.   I’ve been coaching couples for many years, helping them develop strong, vibrant relationships and fulfilling work and family lives. What I know is this: Once you become informed about four (4) unique styles of relating I’ve identified, you’ll have an opportunity to decide just what kind of relationship you want to create. Then, learning the tools and skills of partnering will benefit you for a lifetime. I hope you’ll pay special attention to the benefits of the Big Picture Partnering approach and its benefits. This is what I coach, and am passionate about because it's where I see couples create the relationship they desire and achieve their dreams together. Use the free resources to help assess your own relationship style. [...]

Relationship Reset: Owning Your Core Message to Build Strong Communication

If there's one thing the past few challenging years have been consistent about, it's highlighting our struggle with communication - shining a light on communication strengths & weaknesses. When those weaknesses took control they created bigger and bigger divides between partners. Dr. Jan's video tips highlight common communication struggles and how you can overcome them when you commit to your core message. Her video tip about owning your core message is a pretty amazing one for partners and couples. ⠀ SHARE THIS VIDEO From YouTube with someone you care about 🎥 https://loom.ly/-Dmp9T8 🎬 ⠀ This is just one of Dr. Jan's many tips and techniques for couples who want to strengthen their relationship - whether they're just starting out in life together, or they're working on their Golden Anniversary. ⠀ ⠀ ✍ Reach out and set up your complimentary Discover Call to learn more techniques for you and your partner this year. Or... ⠀ ⠀

Relationship Reset: Improve Agreements by Closing the Loop

TO CLARIFY AGREEMENTS + BUILD TRUST BETWEEN YOU Couples often wonder why they run into difficulty with follow-through in their relationship. One of them thinks they have discussed everything and made a "final" agreement, only to learn later that either -- ➡ there's been no follow-through ➡ nothing has been done ➡ their mate didn't realize it was an agreement, or "forgot" ➡ or, the topic comes up again for more discussion! All of this leads to frustration for one or both partners. Closing the Loop on Agreements Promised can Strengthen Relationships and the Trust Between Partners Years ago, I outlined a 4-Step process to help couples and partners avoid such misunderstandings and arrive at mutually satisfying win/win decisions and follow through. The final step (often missing) is what I call CLOSING THE LOOP! 🎥 Watch and Listen to the video NOW above, if you haven't already. You'll also find the video, among a series of others, on my YouTube Channel at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOazhuxLmJk.  Make sure you unmute and turn up the volume. When you're ready, visit our FREE Resources page for more information, publications, tools you and your partner can use to help you avoid common communication confusion many other couples have experienced at one time or another. 👉https://loom.ly/9zR5jA0 👈

Crafting Your Career and Life Story One Life-Stage at a Time

Careers, businesses and family lives develop through a series of phases. When fully—some would say success"fully" lived—each phase has an arc that rises, peaks, descends and resolves as the next begins. If you approach your career, business and personal developments with this natural structure and rhythm in mind, it allows you to live the current stage fully, anticipate and plan for next phase. This is true no matter your age, life stage or generation. Coaching can help you excavate these aspects of your life, oftentimes making a life feel richer in the reflection and taking intentional action. Nowadays, with such long-life, you have the opportunity to approach each decade, each 10 - 15 year phase acknowledging an underlying natural rhythm, focusing the arc of your activities toward outcomes—the personal and career growth, self-development learning and chronological life-stage accomplishments you desire—as you design, craft and create your life story. If you are a business leader, business owner or entrepreneur, on this foundation you can successfully craft the arc of business developments and plan the future with eyes wide open. Couples and Dual-Career Couples can integrate personal and professional with eyes wide open.   It's Your Story—You Get to Rewrite and Build Each Stage When you acknowledge the context of multiple 10-15 year phases, your career story takes on personal meaning—because you write it, and live it. Like many authors, the outcomes for their characters are not always fully known, but various factors compel the actions and eventual outcomes. The [...]

Coaching Handles Difficulties of Divorce so You Don’t Destroy Relationships or Endanger Your Business

Business owners facing divorce need support, guidance and an expert sounding board to make many unplanned for personal and business decisions. Resentment. It's the dreaded aftermath, the emotions that hand on, the “R” word that undermines a divorce and delays the healing process that must take place after. For business owners or partners, entrepreneurial or dual-career couples navigating separation and divorce in this day and age, the issues are increasingly complex and the stakes are high–both personally and professionally. This is even more fraught if there are children in the picture on the personal front. If you have children how you deal with adversity will be a model for them in their lives. On the business side how you work through your break-up or divorce can have ramifications for employees and others around you. So care for all is required. This can be extra stressful for you. This article will show you how a good coaching can help you manage resentment in divorce so it doesn't destroy your relationships or deplete your business in the process. Managing resentment that oftentimes and commonly accompanies divorce, behaving with grace and dignity, and making wise decisions for the long-term benefit of everyone involved, will ultimately result in a healthy, happier you. It will preserve many relationships, allow your family to function together when occasions arise, and safeguard your business and career interests and often preserve the assets. But how do you do it?  Going through divorce is not a time to [...]

If Divorce Seems Inevitable Here’s Where to Start

  Coaching Can Help You Handle the Many Difficulties of Divorce, so You Don't Destroy Relationships or Endanger Your Career or Business   The Covid pandemic and lockdown strengthened many relationships. However, it's also strained many to the point of separation and divorce. Numerous couples ready for divorce in early 2020 had to continue living together because of the virus and the dangers of moving a household. Others could not afford to separate and divorce due to economic hardship. The line to attorneys and divorce court has increased in recent months as we've moved from full lockdown to social distancing and society opening up gradually again. This article breaks down information and tips for those who are facing a strained relationship that is inevitably heading toward divorce court. Understanding what you are experiencing Steps to stabilize yourself during a divorce Understanding your legal options How to become better at negotiating Additional resources In my work as a Business, Career, and Relationship Coach and Strategist, I’ve worked with individuals and couples at all stages of relationships for over 35 years. As someone who has worked on both sides of relationships—coming together and growing apart—I'm a firm believer in gaining perspective on these major life decisions by seeking coaching help. Then if you still decide to end the relationship, do that with help. So you proceed with grace and dignity. You have to live with yourself and the consequences for the rest of your life, especially if you have children [...]

When You Feel Stuck—Or Choose to Remain—In A Difficult Relationship

Post pandemic updates: The world has truly changed since the pandemic. Not only health, but mental health has come to the forefront. Some of these issues are curable, heal-able or fixable. Others, everyone is hopefully learning to manage through self-care and other mitigations. Some mitigations are small changes or shifts, and others are more dramatic, even drastic adjustments. Difficult relationships can zap your energy, cause self-doubt or bring out negative behavior. It's important to focus on taking care of yourself. Having outside support makes this easier. When these health or mental health concerns are your own, you have more control. You get to decide. To choose. To act. Very often, however, such concerns may be experienced or created by someone close to you at home or work.  Especially when it's family members or very close friends, it's not possible to exit. That's where feeling stuck comes in. Let's unpack the topic. Hopefully it will be of help. This article is divided into the following sections: Introduction and Resources Facing Challenging Relationships Example Situations 9 Tips to Help When You Live With Difficult People or Have Challenging Situations in Your Life When You Feel Stuck—Or Choose to Remain—In A Difficult Relationship With Someone Who Will Not, May Not, or Cannot Change The Pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in relationships. While there are no data on the numbers of people in difficult or disastrous relationships as yet, we do know that large numbers are struggling—be it [...]

7 Tips When You Resent Being in the Lead with a Colleague, Employee, or Mate

  Ridding yourself of resentment of being in the lead means taking responsibility for your role in the ongoing dynamic,  then taking action to make positive change.  Try these 7 tips and let me know how it goes! Are you in a relationship where you secretly wish or overtly want another person to take the lead sometimes?  Do you find yourself thinking “I always have to…” or “He never does…” or “She never brings up…”? Whether at work or at home, some people have a tendency to let resentment about taking the lead build up.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can take that step to rid yourself of resenting being in the lead by encouraging others to participate and by asking for what you want…..after all, your colleagues, boss, employee, or partner can’t read your mind!  Here are some tips on taking the lead on banishing resentment and sharing the load: Specify What You Want Evaluate where you want the other person to take the lead?  On the job maybe you find yourself heading up every meeting when there are others who share responsibility?  Or perhaps at home you continually wish that your partner would decide where to go on “date night” and not always leave it up to you?  Make your list so you clarify what it is you want.  Be concrete in your request. You are asking for specific behavioral change. Clarify Territory Take a look at your list and make certain that you [...]

When Men Don’t Fully Engage, It Deprives the Women In Your Life of Growth

No matter how successful you are in your leadership, or in your business or career, many men still cringe when it comes to talking to the woman (or women) in their life, about making a change that would please them. Especially if that change would meet their own needs--needs for understanding, support, intimacy, closeness, or just plain picking up a consistent mess. While culture is changing, we can blame this on socialization and a bit of nature. Do any of the following statements resonate with you when it comes to your wife, girlfriend, daughters or your mother – even though you are a grown man?  Or maybe they remind you of your female boss or workmates. You want to please the woman in your life; sometimes you feel like you don’t know how. You sometimes feel like she doesn’t acknowledge what you contribute to your relationship and the family. You want her to be happy; when she’s unhappy it makes you feel helpless or shut down. You wish she’d let you know when she’s unhappy about something else in her life versus when she’s unhappy with you; you wish she’d do more things to make herself happy. You want her to simply tell you what she wants or likes – because you can’t read her mind or when she does tell you what she wants it sounds too vague or global and you’d like more concrete requests. If I were showing these statements to a roomful of men, you’d see [...]

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