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janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com

5 Habits of Dual-Career Couples Balancing Work and Family

    As a couple, you expect to be not only romantic partners, but also to partner in the business of creating a home, managing work-lives and possibly raising a family together. Stressors and uncertainties brought on by the coronavirus pandemic—the necessity to be-at-home for an even longer extended time—may be exposing the signs and symptoms of your relationship strengths, as well as your weak spots. Let's break this down... Self-Care and Addressing Your Relationship Needs The Benefits of Working it Out Together Five Essential Habits of of Committed Couples While the data is not in on impacts of this pandemic on couples, families and the society at large, we do know that when couples do not partner well it exacerbates feelings of disconnection. It leads to loneliness, living like "roommates" and many times, it leads to divorce. The accompanying fears and decisions the coronavirus situation calls for—the short and long-term impacts—can be overwhelming. Especially if you don't know how to stay connected and communicate well through the stress. It will increase any fissure between you. Big Picture Relationship Coaching keeps dual-career couples working successfully together, even during difficult times. It's done by supporting one another's individual needs and strengthening your ability to make decisions and arrive at mutually satisfying solutions together. Addressing Your Relationship Needs Is Part of Self-Care The phase we're entering now, with it's mixed messages about what to do and how to respond—is undoubtedly magnifying your couple connection. It may even be increasing the [...]

How to Run a Successful Business Together as Business Partners

As in all close interpersonal relationships, when business professionals are unaware of different relationship styles—without a compatible mindset, and set of tools, and skills they can use together—each partner individually reverts to what they know best. What they know best is typically unconscious, old, less functional, patterns. This article will tackle these three points of context and answer the following questions... What are the pitfalls of co-owning or operating a business with your partner Understanding the choices and consequences of relationship styles What are the four keys to a successful business partnership Like everyone else, put two business owners together and you’ll find some random combination of approaches to relating which can get them in trouble when faced with conflict and their styles are different. Married couples in business together can be doubly susceptible since they live and work together. I always say when partnerships (personal or professional) are going well, they are wonderful. It's when faced with conflict or disagreements that relationship style differences bring on a challenge to change. What originally feels like a positive connection becomes confusing. Responses that used to work no longer work. Without new information, people do not know how to work themselves out of this sticky situation on their own. They can push it under the rug, but typically it does not go away without being addressed. That's why many couples work with therapists or life coaches. In the world of work, business, and careers, having a business coach or business transformation consultant [...]

Keys to Confidence, Security and Emotional Connection for Couples: Creating a Big Picture Partnership

Couples lives are complicated! Integrating both your needs while also balancing work and personal or family desires can be a challenge. Knowing how to work as partners, how to come together as a team, is a choice, a value and a skill that can be developed. When things are going well between you, your relationship and life feels good. Things work smoothly. Like many couples difficulties arise when you have to make decisions together and do not see eye-to-eye. When you want different things or have different needs. This can happen at any stage of relationship. Having the tools and skills to navigate your differences together builds a deep sense of trust. Its a sense of security and emotional connection that grows with experience as you go through good times and face life's ups and downs together—all the while focusing on creating the relationship you desire and achieving your dreams. This article breaks down the who, what, where and how couples can better communicate and connect to each other. Why the Destination Counts Different Approaches or Styles of Relating Benefits Course Offerings Choices of Relationship Style So, differences are not a bad thing. They are part of life, part of our individuality and uniqueness. Sharing who you are with your mate, your partner, and finding ways to come together is key. How do you get on the same page? How do you learn to partner and work together well so your relationship grows and lasts a lifetime? It comes [...]

Discontented in Your Work or Life? Coaching Helps You Slow Down So You Go Further, Faster.

  People seldom seek change when things are going well. Seeking to grow during these times is then a choice versus a push from outside. Because the force of nature is all about growth, if we are not doing so, circumstances will arise to create discontent or provide circumstances that force a change–desired or not. So the internal or external circumstances leading to the desire for work-life change are less important than how you approach it. You might as well embrace it. Where Are You Going to Focus Your Attention? Instead of exiting a job dramatically, seeking a promotion with lots of over-zealous activity, or starting a new venture flailing about trying everything that the media says you should do, I advise what I call Standing Still. Standing Still is taking a breath, taking the discontent as an opportunity to become more self-aware so you assess fully, listen to what the discontent is telling you, and then, from that centered place, open yourself to new possibilities that are right for you. If you scramble and make a change in a state of anxiety or desperation, the chances of your new life or work being truly satisfying are slim. If you make a desperate move it’s like treading water or losing ground. Instead, thoughtfully create steps that actually lead where you want to go. If you do nothing, you’ll be right where you are now. Simply put - Slowing down can actually help you go further, faster.  KEEP Reading for Four [...]

Learn How to Face Demands of Responding to Life & Business Stages Together

All businesses and all individuals grow through natural stages of development over the course of a lifetime. Or they stagnate. They cease to grow. Growth spurts and developmental transitions naturally occur approximately every 7–10 years for individuals. Businesses also go through transitions and developmental stages when they grow from start-up through expansion. In business these stages are often marked by additional products, enlarged customer reach, and of course  increased revenues. Having a smooth functioning culture with happy employees who have the support they require to do their job and the resources for their personal and professional development all begins at the top—it starts with the leadership. For business owners and business partners, having a long-view toward future transition out of the company or sale of the business puts markers for growth into perspective. Business Partners Need to Learn How to Face Demands of Responding to Life & Business Stages Together When business partners are aware of these long-term objectives—and their partnering relationship is solid—communicating through growth stages and transitions, providing access to resources for individual development, and other cultural values, naturally go hand-in-hand with productivity expectations and profit markers. Even though it's a necessary and natural part of growth, transitioning into the next stage always provokes some discomfort, and even anxiety about the changes to come. Some owners are more sensitive to changes on the horizon, expect and anticipate them, and plan ahead. Others are heads-down focused on the day-to-day demands. These heads-down types are often blindsided by the new [...]

Facing the Challenges of Taking on a Business Partner

When a solo-owner or entrepreneur knows that partnering is the next best business decision—be it for start-up, expansion, for future transition, or sale—paving the way with a well discussed, communicated, thought-out relating style is essential to avoid future conflicts. Consciously facing the need to come together with one or more business partners and pairing that with one's own strengths and weaknesses around communication and expectations demands clarity and choices about where change will be necessary—and just where it "ain't going to happen." Choosing the right business partner That's where an expert in both relationships and business comes in to guide you to help you clarify what you want in your business and how a business partner relationship fits your end goal. A business partner coach can then help you assess the candidates and coach you in discussions to ferret out that fit so you stay on track with your ultimate desired outcomes. Challenges of Communication in Business Partnerships The personality characteristics and strengths of the entrepreneur or business owner often run counter to, or do not co-exist well with, the needs of a mutual on-going working business partner relationship, let alone a binding partnership. It's a well-known fact that many (but not all) founder, owner, entrepreneurs are visionaries who follow their own drumbeat. They do not necessarily "play well with others." It's not that they don't care about others, it's that they tend to be self-focused on the business they develop. They want to be in control of [...]

Choosing Among 4 Business Partnering Styles to Understand Their Impacts Your Business

Business partners work successfully together when they are coached to acknowledge individual differences but work toward common agreements. By doing so, they acquire the mindset, tools, and skills of a long-lasting and successful partnership. In this article, you’ll be introduced to four relationship styles entered into by business partners. In the four articles indicated throughout and at the end of this overview, each style will be discussed in greater detail. Unlike relationship therapy or counseling, coaching for relationship style empowers you with skills and tools so you start and stay aligned as business partners. This way you can focus on building your business together! Unconscious Assumptions and Expectations of Varying Relationship Styles Each business partnering style comes with conscious or unconscious assumptions and expectations. These in turn contribute in different ways to the communication and decision-making between the business partners or owners. These interpersonal aspects include: Feelings of ease, trust, respect, and the ability to count on one another. A sense of individual contribution, recognition, and loyalty. Ease and openness of communication. Invitation, support, and encouragement of unique perspectives as part of creative culture. A commitment to working on the “same team,” An attitude that “We can resolve anything together,” in navigating decisions and differences that impact personal satisfaction, as well as business success. Unique Differences Between Relationship Styles Each style is briefly analyzed along the following dimensions: The conscious or unconscious relationship mindset or perspective. This dimension is about ultimate decision-making power within the partnerships. It [...]

7 Ways to Focus and Use Career Coaching When Unhappy and Looking for a New Job or Career

If you are dissatisfied with your career or looking for career advice, you are not alone. A study by the nonprofit, Mental Health America (MHA) surveyed 17,000 workers across 19 industries. The overwhelming results show that 71% of employees are unhappy and actively looking for a new job or career. You may be job searching also, but questioning how to manage your emotions, behavior, as well as productivity while still on the job. Gallup's 2019 survey uncovered 85% of people disengaged on the job. Forbes says more than half are unhappy. With the 2020 pandemic and still coming out the other side of this major life disruption, everyone is wondering if the meaning, and the way, of working has changed forever. With many women's employment trajectory hitting the skids, so many out of work, not knowing if you'll stay working from home (WFH) or be returning back to the office anytime soon, the future outcomes are yet to be seen with full clarity. Let's Break This Down Career Development With Integrated Career Coaching Choice Points in Career Development Seven Ways to Stay Focused, Engaged, and Develop Your Skills Your Career Development Deserves Career Coaching That Integrates Your Whole Life So how can you approach your own career discontent at this or any time? After these tumultuous past few years, and as we are deep into 4th Quarter and anticipating the coming year, you need and want to be ahead of the game. It's actually a wonderful time to reach [...]

Relationship Reset: Let’s Clarify the Relationship You Desire

DIFFERENT STYLES IMPACT YOUR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS This video introduces 4 different styles of communicating and relating to one another that Dr. Jan has identified in every couple. When mixed together, they can create confusion and conflict. Consciously clarifying the style of relating your desire, and actively learning the skills to reach it, can help keep couples stay connected for a lifetime. Clarify Your Destination and Confidently Work Together to Get There You may be single, newly engaged, and planning your wedding, raising school-age children, or even facing the empty nest and “what shall we do now?” stage. It doesn’t matter where you are right now. What matters is—identifying your destination—where you want to grow with your relationship. Knowing your options and how you want to work together is key.   I’ve been coaching couples for many years, helping them develop strong, vibrant relationships and fulfilling work and family lives. What I know is this: Once you become informed about four (4) unique styles of relating I’ve identified, you’ll have an opportunity to decide just what kind of relationship you want to create. Then, learning the tools and skills of partnering will benefit you for a lifetime. I hope you’ll pay special attention to the benefits of the Big Picture Partnering approach and its benefits. This is what I coach, and am passionate about because it's where I see couples create the relationship they desire and achieve their dreams together. Use the free resources to help assess your own relationship style. [...]

Relationship Reset: Owning Your Core Message to Build Strong Communication

If there's one thing the past few challenging years have been consistent about, it's highlighting our struggle with communication - shining a light on communication strengths & weaknesses. When those weaknesses took control they created bigger and bigger divides between partners. Dr. Jan's video tips highlight common communication struggles and how you can overcome them when you commit to your core message. Her video tip about owning your core message is a pretty amazing one for partners and couples. ⠀ SHARE THIS VIDEO From YouTube with someone you care about 🎥 https://loom.ly/-Dmp9T8 🎬 ⠀ This is just one of Dr. Jan's many tips and techniques for couples who want to strengthen their relationship - whether they're just starting out in life together, or they're working on their Golden Anniversary. ⠀ ⠀ ✍ Reach out and set up your complimentary Discover Call to learn more techniques for you and your partner this year. Or... ⠀ ⠀

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