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janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com

5 Habits of Dual-Career Couples Committed to Balancing Work and Family

As a couple, you expect to be not only romantic partners, but also to partner in the business of creating a home, managing work-lives and possibly raising a family together. Stressors and uncertainties brought on by the coronavirus pandemic—the necessity to be-at-home for an even longer extended time—may be exposing the signs and symptoms of your relationship strengths, as well as your weak spots. Let's break this down... Self-Care and Addressing Your Relationship Needs The Benefits of Working it Out Together Five Essential Habits of of Committed Couples While the data is not in on impacts of this pandemic on couples, families and the society at large, we do know that when couples do not partner well it exacerbates feelings of disconnection. It leads to loneliness, living like "roommates" and many times, it leads to divorce. The accompanying fears and decisions the coronavirus situation calls for—the short and long-term impacts—can be overwhelming. Especially if you don't know how to stay connected and communicate well through the stress. It will increase any fissure between you. Big Picture Relationship Coaching keeps dual-career couples working successfully together, even during difficult times. It's done by supporting one another's individual needs and strengthening your ability to make decisions and arrive at mutually satisfying solutions together. Addressing Your Relationship Needs Is Part of Self-Care The phase we're entering now, with it's mixed messages about what to do and how to respond—is undoubtedly magnifying your couple connection. It may even be increasing the divide between [...]

Keys to Confidence, Security and Emotional Connection for Couples: Creating a Big Picture Partnership

Big Picture coaching for dual career couples balancing work and family --so they create a strong partnership -- brings clarity and confidence you can achieve anything together. Skills that last a lifetime! Couples lives are complicated! Integrating both your needs while also balancing work and personal or family desires can be a challenge. Knowing how to work as partners, how to come together as a team, is a choice, a value and a skill that can be developed. When things are going well between you, your relationship and life feels good. Things work smoothly. Like many couples difficulties arise when you have to make decisions together and do not see eye-to-eye. When you want different things or have different needs. This can happen at any stage of relationship. Having the tools and skills to navigate your differences together builds a deep sense of trust. Its a sense of security and emotional connection that grows with experience as you go through good times and face life's ups and downs together—all the while focusing on creating the relationship you desire and achieving your dreams. This article breaks down the who, what, where and how couples can better communicate and connect to each other. Why the Destination Counts Different Approaches or Styles of Relating Benefits Course Offerings Choices of Relationship Style So, differences are not a bad thing. They are part of life, part of our individuality and uniqueness. Sharing who you are with your mate, your partner, and finding [...]

Relationship Reset: Let’s Clarify the Relationship You Desire

DIFFERENT STYLES IMPACT YOUR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS This video introduces 4 different styles of communicating and relating to one another that Dr. Jan has identified in every couple. When mixed together, they can create confusion and conflict. Consciously clarifying the style of relating your desire, and actively learning the skills to reach it, can help keep couples stay connected for a lifetime. Clarify Your Destination and Confidently Work Together to Get There You may be single, newly engaged, and planning your wedding, raising school-age children, or even facing the empty nest and “what shall we do now?” stage. It doesn’t matter where you are right now. What matters is—identifying your destination—where you want to grow with your relationship. Knowing your options and how you want to work together is key.   I’ve been coaching couples for many years, helping them develop strong, vibrant relationships and fulfilling work and family lives. What I know is this: Once you become informed about four (4) unique styles of relating I’ve identified, you’ll have an opportunity to decide just what kind of relationship you want to create. Then, learning the tools and skills of partnering will benefit you for a lifetime. I hope you’ll pay special attention to the benefits of the Big Picture Partnering approach and its benefits. This is what I coach, and am passionate about because it's where I see couples create the relationship they desire and achieve their dreams together. Use the free resources to help assess your own relationship style. [...]

Relationship Reset: Owning Your Core Message to Build Strong Communication

If there's one thing the past few challenging years have been consistent about, it's highlighting our struggle with communication - shining a light on communication strengths & weaknesses. When those weaknesses took control they created bigger and bigger divides between partners. Dr. Jan's video tips highlight common communication struggles and how you can overcome them when you commit to your core message. Her video tip about owning your core message is a pretty amazing one for partners and couples. ⠀ SHARE THIS VIDEO From YouTube with someone you care about 🎥 https://loom.ly/-Dmp9T8 🎬 ⠀ This is just one of Dr. Jan's many tips and techniques for couples who want to strengthen their relationship - whether they're just starting out in life together, or they're working on their Golden Anniversary. ⠀ ⠀ ✍ Reach out and set up your complimentary Discover Call to learn more techniques for you and your partner this year. Or... ⠀ ⠀

Relationship Reset: Improve Agreements by Closing the Loop

TO CLARIFY AGREEMENTS + BUILD TRUST BETWEEN YOU Couples often wonder why they run into difficulty with follow-through in their relationship. One of them thinks they have discussed everything and made a "final" agreement, only to learn later that either -- ➡ there's been no follow-through ➡ nothing has been done ➡ their mate didn't realize it was an agreement, or "forgot" ➡ or, the topic comes up again for more discussion! All of this leads to frustration for one or both partners. Closing the Loop on Agreements Promised can Strengthen Relationships and the Trust Between Partners Years ago, I outlined a 4-Step process to help couples and partners avoid such misunderstandings and arrive at mutually satisfying win/win decisions and follow through. The final step (often missing) is what I call CLOSING THE LOOP! 🎥 Watch and Listen to the video NOW above, if you haven't already. You'll also find the video, among a series of others, on my YouTube Channel at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOazhuxLmJk.  Make sure you unmute and turn up the volume. When you're ready, visit our FREE Resources page for more information, publications, tools you and your partner can use to help you avoid common communication confusion many other couples have experienced at one time or another. 👉https://loom.ly/9zR5jA0 👈

Discontented in Your Work or Life? Slowing Down Can Actually Help You Go Further, Faster.

People seldom seek change when things are going well. Seeking to grow during these times is then a choice versus a push from outside. Because the force of nature is all about growth, if we are not doing so, circumstances will arise to create discontent or provide circumstances that force a change–desired or not. So the internal or external circumstances leading to the desire for work-life change are less important than how you approach it. You might as well embrace it. Where Are You Going to Focus Your Attention? Instead of exiting a job dramatically, seeking a promotion with lots of over-zealous activity, or starting a new venture flailing about trying everything that the media says you should do, I advise what I call Standing Still. Standing Still is taking a breath, taking the discontent as an opportunity to become more self-aware so you assess fully, listen to what the discontent is telling you, and then, from that centered place, open yourself to new possibilities that are right for you. If you scramble and make a change in a state of anxiety or desperation, the chances of your new life or work being truly satisfying are slim. If you make a desperate move it’s like treading water or losing ground. Instead, thoughtfully create steps that actually lead where you want to go. If you do nothing, you’ll be right where you are now. Simply put - Slowing down can actually help you go further, faster.  KEEP Reading for Four Tips [...]

Learn How to Face Demands of Responding to Life & Business Stages Together

All businesses and all individuals grow through natural stages of development over the course of a lifetime. Or they stagnate. They cease to grow. Growth spurts and developmental transitions naturally occur approximately every 7–10 years for individuals. Businesses also go through transitions and developmental stages when they grow from start-up through expansion. In business these stages are often marked by additional products, enlarged customer reach, and of course  increased revenues.Having a smooth functioning culture with happy employees who have the support they require to do their job and the resources for their personal and professional development all begins at the top—it starts with the leadership. For business owners and business partners, having a long-view toward future transition out of the company or sale of the business puts markers for growth into perspective.Business Partners Need to Learn How to Face Demands of Responding to Life & Business Stages TogetherWhen business partners are aware of these long-term objectives—and their partnering relationship is solid—communicating through growth stages and transitions, providing access to resources for individual development, and other cultural values, naturally go hand-in-hand with productivity expectations and profit markers.Even though it's a necessary and natural part of growth, transitioning into the next stage always provokes some discomfort, and even anxiety about the changes to come. Some owners are more sensitive to changes on the horizon, expect and anticipate them, and plan ahead. Others are heads-down focused on the day-to-day demands. These heads-down types are often blindsided by the new and unexpected needs that arise. [...]

How Do We Keep Our Relationship Healthy and Strong?

Couples coaching to clarify your goals and give you the relationship tools and skills gives you confidence you be able to achieve your dreams together! The pandemic and massive cultural shifts these past few years have brought out the best, the ho-hum, and the most challenging in couples' relationships. The data is mixed. Some sources note that 34% of married men and women ages 18 - 55 years report impacts of stress on their relationships. Some report dramatic increases in divorce filings between 2020 and the previous year. Yet other indications show increased resiliency, strength, even appreciation between mates. Work from home, flexible hours and greater income for many has opened options like never before. Everyone is embracing the need for greater mental health care and time with your family and loved ones is high priority we are all learning to integrate into our lives. With all these tectonic shifts impacting you, it's a great time to assess, retool and revisit what's most important in your relationships.   It's a Wrap—Or Is It? So, as we turn a page on this year, I encourage you to not just slam the book shut. Take this opportunity to assess your relationship and how you'd like it to be. You already know that when your relationship is new and it's easy to show your "best self," enjoy one another's company and imagine a bright future together. As you blend your lives and daily responsibilities, other parts of ourselves, needs and demands [...]

Stop Being “Nice.” A Guide for Straight-Talk Guidance that Grows Your People

At the gym the other day, stretching before a workout class, two men were sparring nearby. Mid-30’s, and mid-40’s, with humor but focused. Glove-less jabs and shoe-less rapid-fire kicks flew, interspersed with the ding-ding-ding of a timer set to note the end of each short round. Between each round, straight-talk, rapid-fire feedback was given, received and incorporated into the next practice round. These two were totally focused on increasing skills and achieving better performance. One man more advanced giving feedback to grow the other’s competence at something they both care about. Sports leaders are hired for their ability to grow individuals and a team. They are quickly fired when the skills do not improve, when the team does not go on to succeed. Measurements of growth and success are clear. Everyone is there to improve skills. For team success. They are there to get better. It made me think of the difference between the sports-world and the business-world. We expect and seek out straight-talk coaching in the world of sports. We hire trainers to kick butt - to lose weight, get stronger, avoid injury or achieve whatever our physical goals. We hire them for straight-talk, tough-love. So we get better. The Stakes Are High There’s far less consistency in giving, receiving and incorporating straight-talk input clearly aimed at growing the skills necessary to achieve individual and company success. Many people in positions of authority (here I include leaders, managers, even parents of emerging adults) avoid opportunities to grow their people. [...]

How to Run a Successful Business Together as Business Partners

As in all close interpersonal relationships, when business professionals are unaware of different relationship styles—without a compatible mindset, and set of tools, and skills they can use together—each partner individually reverts to what they know best. What they know best is typically unconscious, old, less functional, patterns. This article will tackle these three points of context and answer the following questions... What are the pitfalls of co-owning or operating a business with your partner Understanding the choices and consequences of relationship styles What are the four keys to a successful business partnership Like everyone else, put two business owners together and you’ll find some random combination of approaches to relating which can get them in trouble when faced with conflict and their styles are different. Married couples in business together can be doubly susceptible since they live and work together. I always say when partnerships (personal or professional) are going well, they are wonderful. It's when faced with conflict or disagreements that relationship style differences bring on a challenge to change. What originally feels like a positive connection becomes confusing. Responses that used to work no longer work. Without new information, people do not know how to work themselves out of this sticky situation on their own. They can push it under the rug, but typically it does not go away without being addressed. That's why many couples work with therapists or life coaches. In the world of work, business, and careers, having a business coach or business transformation consultant [...]

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