fbpx
janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com

Tips to Survive a Narcissistic Boss or Toxic Work Environment

Over the past 35+ years, I’ve coached some pretty amazing, highly competent career coaching clients through difficult work relationships, into exit strategies if needed, and on to recovery from business or corporate PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.) It happens all too frequently. I felt compelled to write some basic guidelines to help you through a tough circumstance. We'll break this article down into the following sections: Tips for Survival Identifying the Toxic Boss Acknowledging Narcissistic or Toxic Behavior Your Experience with a Toxic Situation How to Take Care of Yourself Healing Afterward Workplace Toxicity and Trauma Tips For Survival We often hear about ineffective employees. What about the lethal, abusive, toxic, or harassing boss, manager or co-worker? No matter how much money you are making, how prestigious the position or how high-paying the salary, being treated this way takes a huge toll on your energy and productivity, your psyche, and your soul. There are few things worse for the human spirit than working all day at a job that you experience as boring or where you're disengaged. Right up there is also if you're spending hours in a negative environment. Experienced as even worse for the human psyche and soul is working with toxic or abusive people. Even if the abuse is not aimed "at" you, observing others being bullied, undermined, or maliciously being gossiped about or shunned—mean behavior—is a signal such behavior could always be turned on you. It sets people on high alert. Who Is The Toxic [...]

Tackle a Career Transition or Job Change with Confidence

My 27-year-old goddaughter just completed her Master's Degree in Career Counseling and landed her first major full-time position within the University of California educational system. And, she did all this during the Coronavirus pandemic! What made the difference in her successfully launching her career path you ask? As I observed Emily create her path, it was a strategic, step-by-step, evolving journey that took into account 1.) her current needs and over time 2.) fully embraced her future wants. It involved a conscious willingness to stretch out of her comfort zone while also having the support, coaching, and mentoring from professors, employers, and professionals. Of course, like each of you, she'll go through a number of these transitions as she grows in her career and integrates other personal aspects in her life. Happily, she's discovered a "formula" that will be useful each time she enters a new phase. You can implement this self-discovery formula too. No matter your age or career and life stage, this approach—a strategic step-by-step, evolving journey—toward your next career/life transition is going to reap you the life and career that you will call "success," and that will allow you to thrive. The rest of this article will tackle the following topics if you continue to read through: Forging a Career and Life Path You Love Salary Breakdowns by Gender and Occupation from PayScale data More Examples of Pandemic Career Transition Success Ten Year Survey of Job Changers Tips to Approach a Job Change Career coaching helps [...]

2 Steps to Create Security When Itching To Leave Your Job

This article is Part 2 of two articles to provide practical, down-to-earth suggestions to accelerate you as you explore changes on your work-life path - and two steps to get from here to there. STEP ONE - Clear the Clutter STEP TWO - Get Practical Financially In Part 1 of this two-part series, Success Tips to Leave a Company + Design a More Purposeful Work Life, we decided it doesn’t matter WHY you want or need to leave your current position or company. It may be simply Feeling your particular company or corporate environment isn’t a life-giving, vibrant or creative match for you. Needing to design a whole life, not just a work-life; your work is your life but right now it’s not a reflection of “you.” Being unchallenged or bored; It’s just time and something has to change. Having a great idea that you’d love to devote your time and energy to getting off the ground. Wanting to not wake up 3 or 5 or 10 years from now feeling regretful. All are great reasons to pay attention and begin to create time, space and action steps to figure out your next life and work iteration. It's not a great time to be impulsive. If you're not going to be impulsive, the question becomes: Where Do I Start?       Start with a combo of excitement and exploration.           Back this up with practical  financial security. Then give yourself some space to think openly as you explore. [...]

Success Tips to Leave a Company + Design a More Purposeful Work-Life

You may be looking for some down-to-earth suggestions to accelerate you on your career and work-life path.  You want to explore and are committed to staying "On-Purpose." Okay, so let's get some things out of the way so you can focus and steps that will move you forward—no matter where you are today. These are my 3 Top Tips and 2 More Resources to Help You Prepare to Leave That Job: Let Go of Self-Doubt Get Help to Slow Down so You Can Speed Up Dove-Tail the Beginnings and Endings Checklist of Things To Do When Ending Your Current Job Love Them and Leave Them Empowered 1. Let Go of Self-Doubt It doesn’t matter WHY you want or need to leave. The pandemic or a company merger or closure may have forced your change.  Or, you may: Have a great idea that you’d love to devote your time and energy to getting off the ground. Feel your company environment is no longer a vibrant or creative match for you at this next stage. Need to design a whole-life, not just a work-life. Know you've changed. Your work is your life but right now it’s not a reflection of “you.” Just be bored; It’s just time and something has to change. Not be willing to wake up 3 or 5 or 10 years from now and feel regret. If the change has been forced on you, it can be unsettling and scary. You may feel the urge to take [...]

Successful Business or Career Transition Planning Should Always Include Your Mate

Navigating Career Transitions Together During COVID-19 The Pandemic has been challenging on all levels of business, career, family, couple, and work relationships. I wrote this article before the pandemic hit, and hit our business lives, career trajectory, and pocketbooks. Work from home (WFH) is now highly endorsed by many, yet not possible depending on the industry and family needs. Business owners, dual-career couples, and couples in business together are spinning with demands. So reading this, your perspective on transitions you had planned before may be enlarged to include not only transitioning out of a company or high-level job down the road—but maybe a shift or major reroute altogether. Some of you are leaving your company and taking a new position. Or your mate is. Or maybe you need to have further discussions about going into business together. Or one of you wants to go back to school to be retooled. Retirement or slowing down may be pushed down the road. Either due to economics, recent life experience or just the facts and changes brought about internally or externally, the concept of "transition" may now need to become "revision" or "re-imagine." And you need to do it together. Because you impact one another. Like a mobile one parts shift and they all shift. Psychologically we're called on to change. To be created in our responses. Not immediately in some circumstances, but that's the ultimate outcome we need to open to. So those that use imagination, who "imagine" and "re-imagine" will [...]

Tips for Dual Career Couples Navigating Careers and Life Together

You’re a committed couple who dreams big. You want a thriving life. At various times, managing it all can be complicated. Your relationship, family life, professional pursuits, and maybe even a growing business are all pieces you want comfortably melded. Sometimes it’s important to disentangle them to make sure each facet of your life is thriving on its own. And that you are working together well, making decisions well, and supporting both your individual and couple goals and needs. At different stages of life and relationship, all couples face decisions or transitions. I call them "choice points."  Sometimes these choice points are easily resolved, and at other times they require or even deserve that you spend time reflecting on the long-term impacts your decisions will have on your future. Such choice points are a good time to slow down so you can speed up with confidence. Talk together about what's most important to you individually and what you value in your togetherness. Choice points are a great time to seek coaching to stay on track with your goals together. Couples who come together with a common relationship style learn to make decisions more smoothly together at such choice points in their lives. The Big Picture Partnering™ approach to relationship coaching, developed by Dr. Jan Hoistad, is especially helpful for professional couples with two careers, entrepreneurial couples with one or two businesses, or the couple with one overseeing the household and family organization while the other works in the business. Blending [...]

Suggestions to Eliminate Disruptions So You Can Run a Successful Business Out of Your Home

  This is an article with practical suggestions for the HOME-BASED Business Owner, or any of you considering running your business from home. Just Because I’m Home Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Working 12 Tips to Train YOURSELF to run a successful business from home Running a successful business from home is a continual work in progress. Not only organizing your space but then there's setting boundaries for your mate, kids, maybe pets, and delivery people, as well as setting work-life balance limits for yourself.  I used to do all my paperwork, writing, and coaching phone calls from home. Then I'd schedule clients in person and them at another co-working location. Separating locations helped me to focus on each type of task—the business of running a successful business at home versus time with clients focused on their needs. Then there was the pandemic. Like you, I brought my enterprise home full-time. Together business owners and families pivoted and we are all now well versed in running successful businesses from home. Some more smoothly than others. As the world opens up again, some workers really do want to go back to the office because of the stressors caused by disturbances at home. While these owners really do love their mate, their kiddos, and their pets, managing it all can be overwhelming. In 2020, the SBA noted that about half of all small businesses were home-based out of 31.7 million. Surprisingly, 3rd Quarter 2020 also yielded the start of more new businesses than [...]

Couples and Career Transitions: 4 Steps to Maximize Your Success

In spite of the pandemic and many other life challenges right now, people are moving up and moving on in their professional careers. Valued mid-career employees are seeking and being offered advancement in company leadership and scope of responsibilities. Others are encouraged to expand or strengthen their skills, participating in further training needed by their company as it prepares for the future. Others are anticipating an exit and next life stage, with thoughtful succession planning that will impact their company's next phase. Each of these situations brings its own set of circumstances that employees need to face. For some it's longer hours, managing and leading more people, even relocation to a different part of the country. For some it's deciding if they are willing to move internationally and all that entails. No matter how welcomed, job changes and career transitions are stressful. They are stressful when you are growing within a company at the same office. Stress in compounded when transitions are required frequently. Or if they involve a myriad of changes. This article breaks down in the following way: How to Include Your People in Your Career Transition 4 Steps to Integrate Your Personal Life and Career for Greater Success For many, the opportunities and challenges are both exciting and daunting, especially as the world and the world-of-work is changing - and we don't know how it's all going to land just yet. Then we can't forget there's the personal side of things that factor in! Considerations such as [...]

How to Know if You Are A Lightning Rod for Negativity in a Toxic Work Environment

Toxic work environments cause people to question themselves and their judgments. Sometimes it becomes difficult to know if you are doing a good job, or not, because of the negative feedback or response. We're going to break this article down into two sections: Common Characteristics of a Lightning Rod Tips for Grounding Yourself and Dealing With Business Bullies   Common Characteristics of the Lightning Rod Is This What You are Experiencing? You’re an expert at what you do. You take your work seriously. You are probably a perfectionist and always try to do an excellent job. You have high values and standards for yourself and your work. You see the wide-ranging impact of your work on other facets of the work in your department and the company. You “walk your talk” meaning you are consistent and aligned in all your talk and actions. You are a professional and try to stay “adult” in all your interactions. More often than not, but not always, you are female. Your age, stage in career, or experience level does not matter. At other companies you always got along; It’s surprising or hard to figure out why you are treated this way. No matter what you do it seems to draw negative attention or reaction. Even the people you supervise know you are on a “hit list” from above. Your self-esteem is plummeting. You used to feel appropriately confident in your skills. Now you are plagued with self-doubts. You dread going to work. Common Characteristics [...]

How to Keep the Personal out of Professional Communication

Let’s be honest, communication could be portrayed by many as one of the most important factors of relationships — both business and personal. I’m here to tell you that even though communication has been around for thousands of years, it has yet to find perfection. Let me narrow down the field of vision a bit, specifically, communication in the workplace. I’m a Millennial. I value communication. One form of communication that is very important to me and is a huge part of my value system is the idea of feedback. I’ve always received feedback: teachers, parents, coaches, friends, other family members, strangers on the street, social media acquaintances, and so on. I thrive on feedback. I want to know how I’m doing all the time. It’s how I attribute success. "When I hear I’m doing a good job from others, I truly believe it myself."   Communication mishaps happen all the time, especially in the workplace. Even if you have the best boss and coworkers in the world, there’s bound to be some communication confusion at one point in time. Here are some things to keep in mind for effective communication: Ask questions. One magical thing about human beings is that each person has their own mind and their own thoughts. It’s okay to ask for clarification. One common mishap occurs when there’s confusion with the messages. Not everyone is a skilled communicator. It’s important to clearly understand the message being conveyed. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for failure from [...]

Skip to content
Go to Top