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janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com

2 Steps to Create Security When Itching To Leave Your Job

This article is Part 2 of two articles to provide practical, down-to-earth suggestions to accelerate you as you explore changes on your work-life path - and two steps to get from here to there. STEP ONE - Clear the Clutter STEP TWO - Get Practical Financially In Part 1 of this two-part series, Success Tips to Leave a Company + Design a More Purposeful Work Life, we decided it doesn’t matter WHY you want or need to leave your current position or company. It may be simply Feeling your particular company or corporate environment isn’t a life-giving, vibrant or creative match for you. Needing to design a whole life, not just a work-life; your work is your life but right now it’s not a reflection of “you.” Being unchallenged or bored; It’s just time and something has to change. Having a great idea that you’d love to devote your time and energy to getting off the ground. Wanting to not wake up 3 or 5 or 10 years from now feeling regretful. All are great reasons to pay attention and begin to create time, space and action steps to figure out your next life and work iteration. It's not a great time to be impulsive. If you're not going to be impulsive, the question becomes: Where Do I Start?       Start with a combo of excitement and exploration.           Back this up with practical  financial security. Then give yourself some space to think openly as you explore. [...]

Success Tips to Leave a Company + Design a More Purposeful Work-Life

You may be looking for some down-to-earth suggestions to accelerate you on your career and work-life path.  You want to explore and are committed to staying "On-Purpose." Okay, so let's get some things out of the way so you can focus and steps that will move you forward—no matter where you are today. These are my 3 Top Tips and 2 More Resources to Help You Prepare to Leave That Job: Let Go of Self-Doubt Get Help to Slow Down so You Can Speed Up Dove-Tail the Beginnings and Endings Checklist of Things To Do When Ending Your Current Job Love Them and Leave Them Empowered 1. Let Go of Self-Doubt It doesn’t matter WHY you want or need to leave. The pandemic or a company merger or closure may have forced your change.  Or, you may: Have a great idea that you’d love to devote your time and energy to getting off the ground. Feel your company environment is no longer a vibrant or creative match for you at this next stage. Need to design a whole-life, not just a work-life. Know you've changed. Your work is your life but right now it’s not a reflection of “you.” Just be bored; It’s just time and something has to change. Not be willing to wake up 3 or 5 or 10 years from now and feel regret. If the change has been forced on you, it can be unsettling and scary. You may feel the urge to take [...]

Successful Business or Career Transition Planning Should Always Include Your Mate

Navigating Career Transitions Together During COVID-19 The Pandemic has been challenging on all levels of business, career, family, couple, and work relationships. I wrote this article before the pandemic hit, and hit our business lives, career trajectory, and pocketbooks. Work from home (WFH) is now highly endorsed by many, yet not possible depending on the industry and family needs. Business owners, dual-career couples, and couples in business together are spinning with demands. So reading this, your perspective on transitions you had planned before may be enlarged to include not only transitioning out of a company or high-level job down the road—but maybe a shift or major reroute altogether. Some of you are leaving your company and taking a new position. Or your mate is. Or maybe you need to have further discussions about going into business together. Or one of you wants to go back to school to be retooled. Retirement or slowing down may be pushed down the road. Either due to economics, recent life experience or just the facts and changes brought about internally or externally, the concept of "transition" may now need to become "revision" or "re-imagine." And you need to do it together. Because you impact one another. Like a mobile one parts shift and they all shift. Psychologically we're called on to change. To be created in our responses. Not immediately in some circumstances, but that's the ultimate outcome we need to open to. So those that use imagination, who "imagine" and "re-imagine" will [...]

When You Feel Stuck—Or Choose to Remain—In A Difficult Relationship

Post pandemic updates: The world has truly changed since the pandemic. Not only health, but mental health has come to the forefront. Some of these issues are curable, heal-able or fixable. Others, everyone is hopefully learning to manage through self-care and other mitigations. Some mitigations are small changes or shifts, and others are more dramatic, even drastic adjustments. Difficult relationships can zap your energy, cause self-doubt or bring out negative behavior. It's important to focus on taking care of yourself. Having outside support makes this easier. When these health or mental health concerns are your own, you have more control. You get to decide. To choose. To act. Very often, however, such concerns may be experienced or created by someone close to you at home or work.  Especially when it's family members or very close friends, it's not possible to exit. That's where feeling stuck comes in. Let's unpack the topic. Hopefully it will be of help. This article is divided into the following sections: Introduction and Resources Facing Challenging Relationships Example Situations 9 Tips to Help When You Live With Difficult People or Have Challenging Situations in Your Life When You Feel Stuck—Or Choose to Remain—In A Difficult Relationship With Someone Who Will Not, May Not, or Cannot Change The Pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in relationships. While there are no data on the numbers of people in difficult or disastrous relationships as yet, we do know that large numbers are struggling—be it [...]

Tips for Dual Career Couples Navigating Careers and Life Together

You’re a committed couple who dreams big. You want a thriving life. At various times, managing it all can be complicated. Your relationship, family life, professional pursuits, and maybe even a growing business are all pieces you want comfortably melded. Sometimes it’s important to disentangle them to make sure each facet of your life is thriving on its own. And that you are working together well, making decisions well, and supporting both your individual and couple goals and needs. At different stages of life and relationship, all couples face decisions or transitions. I call them "choice points."  Sometimes these choice points are easily resolved, and at other times they require or even deserve that you spend time reflecting on the long-term impacts your decisions will have on your future. Such choice points are a good time to slow down so you can speed up with confidence. Talk together about what's most important to you individually and what you value in your togetherness. Choice points are a great time to seek coaching to stay on track with your goals together. Couples who come together with a common relationship style learn to make decisions more smoothly together at such choice points in their lives. The Big Picture Partnering™ approach to relationship coaching, developed by Dr. Jan Hoistad, is especially helpful for professional couples with two careers, entrepreneurial couples with one or two businesses, or the couple with one overseeing the household and family organization while the other works in the business. Blending [...]

Couples and Career Transitions: 4 Steps to Maximize Your Success

In spite of the pandemic and many other life challenges right now, people are moving up and moving on in their professional careers. Valued mid-career employees are seeking and being offered advancement in company leadership and scope of responsibilities. Others are encouraged to expand or strengthen their skills, participating in further training needed by their company as it prepares for the future. Others are anticipating an exit and next life stage, with thoughtful succession planning that will impact their company's next phase. Each of these situations brings its own set of circumstances that employees need to face. For some it's longer hours, managing and leading more people, even relocation to a different part of the country. For some it's deciding if they are willing to move internationally and all that entails. No matter how welcomed, job changes and career transitions are stressful. They are stressful when you are growing within a company at the same office. Stress in compounded when transitions are required frequently. Or if they involve a myriad of changes. This article breaks down in the following way: How to Include Your People in Your Career Transition 4 Steps to Integrate Your Personal Life and Career for Greater Success For many, the opportunities and challenges are both exciting and daunting, especially as the world and the world-of-work is changing - and we don't know how it's all going to land just yet. Then we can't forget there's the personal side of things that factor in! Considerations such as [...]

How to Know if You Are A Lightning Rod for Negativity in a Toxic Work Environment

Toxic work environments cause people to question themselves and their judgments. Sometimes it becomes difficult to know if you are doing a good job, or not, because of the negative feedback or response. We're going to break this article down into two sections: Common Characteristics of a Lightning Rod Tips for Grounding Yourself and Dealing With Business Bullies   Common Characteristics of the Lightning Rod Is This What You are Experiencing? You’re an expert at what you do. You take your work seriously. You are probably a perfectionist and always try to do an excellent job. You have high values and standards for yourself and your work. You see the wide-ranging impact of your work on other facets of the work in your department and the company. You “walk your talk” meaning you are consistent and aligned in all your talk and actions. You are a professional and try to stay “adult” in all your interactions. More often than not, but not always, you are female. Your age, stage in career, or experience level does not matter. At other companies you always got along; It’s surprising or hard to figure out why you are treated this way. No matter what you do it seems to draw negative attention or reaction. Even the people you supervise know you are on a “hit list” from above. Your self-esteem is plummeting. You used to feel appropriately confident in your skills. Now you are plagued with self-doubts. You dread going to work. Common Characteristics [...]

A Coaching Approach to Strengthen Your Business Partnership

In the beating heart of every entrepreneur, business owner, and business partner, is a desire to move with ease and speed, to be one step ahead of the curve, to have a partner and team working smoothly in the flow, laser-focused on achieving mutual goals and agreed upon outcomes, driven to succeed. The article dives into the core benefits of a Big Picture Partner Approach to business coaching and how it can help you become strong and more successful together. A business is a fertile ground for partnering with one or more people, often with complimentary skills, energy and enthusiasm, sometimes investing money, bringing connections, or a book of business. Like many relationships, business partnerships are sometimes humorously referred to as a working marriage. Both are “working relationships.” Humor highlights the complexity such close relationships bring. And like the long-term commitment of a personal relationship, the spirit that brings people together in business also requires interpersonal skill and attention to make the business and the relationship successful over the long haul. Yet while business partners enter into their legal and working relationship with positive expectations, even enthusiasm, statistics show that anywhere between 50% to 70% of business partnerships ultimately fail. How do you inoculate yourself against such a demise? This article introduces an approach to navigating an important business relationship that should be a great asset to you and your business. It offers insight into the mindset, skills, and tools to work as Big Picture Partners™. This style of [...]

Business Partners Experience Big Problems in Unilateral Decision-Making

Unilateral Decision-Makers Typically Function Like Roommates in a Business Relationship In business partnerships, Unilateral Decision-Makers are initially attracted to what they perceive as one another’s equal competence, independence, and productivity. These are typically seen as complementary skill sets which advance their business. This is also a common default relationship style among independent, educated, highly ambitious couples, who are sometimes couples in business together, running a home and an office together. When this business relationship is working, each partner typically feels energized, supported, and trusting of the work, the relationship, and the business future. It's fun! Parallel Play Having characteristics of most entrepreneurs, these business owners are focused on making their vision a reality. They each tend to have take-charge and in-control personalities. When doing business partner coaching or consulting, I note that a major defining characteristic of the Unilateral Decision-Maker business owners is that they make decisions independent of one another. Often this is done with the best of intentions, assuming they will be in agreement, but without consciously taking their partner’s feedback into consideration, or requesting it. These Unilateral Decision-Maker business partners are individuals who may appear to discuss, check in, or consult with one another from time to time, or even on a regular basis. What they may or may not be aware of, is that they are working on parallel tracks. They really haven’t shared their thoughts, feeling, or made decisions together. They assent to one another’s decisions because they don’t disagree—especially if the business is progressing [...]

The Difficulties of Business Partnerships With Undefined Roles

This article is part of a series describing 4 Business Partnering Styles that can have an impact on you and your business. See a list of these articles and other resources at the end of this article. Partnerships With Undefined Roles Will Stunt Your Growth Misplaced Desire for Connection People enter into Undefined Role business relationships under a number of circumstances. One is when they dive right in to the day-to-day demands and assume they will sort out the roles later—or sort them out over time. And often, they never get around to it. Others fall into an Undefined Role style because they have an underlying, often unconscious, desire to share everything. In the beginning stages of start-up this happens frequently and may feel both exciting and supportive as they discuss everything, sometimes ad nauseam. Over time, this need for connection proves to be inefficient and eventually keeps a business from achieving the growth they may or may not have targeted. This style may lead to placing value in interpersonal relationship satisfaction above and beyond business objectives. This can feel satisfying in what is called a “life style business” but it frequently doesn’t lead to successful growth. Merging or Lack of Boundaries Another version of owners with Undefined Roles is seen in people who come together unaware of what it means to have a healthy, mature relationship. Often this is seen in all their relationships—professionally as well as personally. These owners have few boundaries and little autonomy. They may not [...]

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