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Crafting the Arc of Your Career and Life Story One Life-Stage at a Time

Careers, businesses and family lives develop through a series of phases. When fully—some would say success"fully" lived—each phase has an arc that rises, peaks, descends and resolves as the next begins. If you approach your career, business and personal developments with this natural structure and rhythm in mind, it allows you to live the current stage fully, anticipate and plan for next phase. This is true no matter your age, life stage or generation. Coaching can help you excavate these aspects of your life, oftentimes making a life feel richer in the reflection and taking intentional action. Nowadays, with such long-life, you have the opportunity to approach each decade, each 10 - 15 year phase acknowledging an underlying natural rhythm, focusing the arc of your activities toward outcomes—the personal and career growth, self-development learning and chronological life-stage accomplishments you desire—as you design, craft and create your life story. If you are a business leader, business owner or entrepreneur, on this foundation you can successfully craft the arc of business developments and plan the future with eyes wide open. Couples and Dual-Career Couples can integrate personal and professional with eyes wide open.   It's Your Story—You Get to Rewrite and Build Each Stage When you acknowledge the context of multiple 10-15 year phases, your career story takes on personal meaning—because you write it, and live it. Like many authors, the outcomes for their characters are not always fully known, but various factors compel the actions and eventual outcomes. The [...]

Relationship Reset: How To Clarify the Relationship You Desire

DIFFERENT STYLES IMPACT YOUR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS This video introduces 4 different styles of communicating and relating to one another that Dr. Jan has identified in every couple. When mixed together, they can create confusion and conflict. Consciously clarifying the style of relating your desire, and actively learning the skills to reach it, can help keep couples stay connected for a lifetime. Clarify Your Destination and Confidently Work Together to Get There You may be single, newly engaged, and planning your wedding, raising school-age children, or even facing the empty nest and “what shall we do now?” stage. It doesn’t matter where you are right now. What matters is—identifying your destination—where you want to grow with your relationship. Knowing your options and how you want to work together is key.   I’ve been coaching couples for many years, helping them develop strong, vibrant relationships and fulfilling work and family lives. What I know is this: Once you become informed about four (4) unique styles of relating I’ve identified, you’ll have an opportunity to decide just what kind of relationship you want to create. Then, learning the tools and skills of partnering will benefit you for a lifetime. I hope you’ll pay special attention to the benefits of the Big Picture Partnering approach and its benefits. This is what I coach, and am passionate about because it's where I see couples create the relationship they desire and achieve their dreams together. Use the free resources to help assess your own relationship style. [...]

Relationship Reset: Owning Your Core Message to Build Strong Communication

If there's one thing 2020 was consistent about when it came to interpersonal relationships, it was highlighting our struggle with communication - shining a light on communication strengths & weaknesses. When those weaknesses took control they created bigger and bigger divides between partners. Dr. Jan's video tips highlight common communication struggles and how you can overcome them when you commit to your core message. Her video tip about owning your core message is a pretty amazing one for partners and couples. ⠀ SHARE THIS VIDEO From YouTube with someone you care about 🎥 https://loom.ly/-Dmp9T8 🎬 ⠀ This is just one of Dr. Jan's many tips and techniques for couples who want to strengthen their relationship - whether they're just starting out in life together, or they're working on their Golden Anniversary. ⠀ ⠀ ✍ Reach out and set up your complimentary Discover Call to learn more techniques for you and your partner this year. Or... ⠀ ✍ Check out our upcoming online training courses being offered this year. ⠀

Relationship Reset: Improve Agreements by Closing the Loop

TO CLARIFY AGREEMENTS + BUILD TRUST BETWEEN YOU Couples often wonder why they run into difficulty with follow-through in their relationship. One of them thinks they have discussed everything and made a "final" agreement, only to learn later that either -- ➡ there's been no follow-through ➡ nothing has been done ➡ their mate didn't realize it was an agreement, or "forgot" ➡ or, the topic comes up again for more discussion! All of this leads to frustration for one or both partners. Closing the Loop on Agreements Promised can Strengthen Relationships and the Trust Between Partners Years ago, I outlined a 4-Step process to help couples and partners avoid such misunderstandings and arrive at mutually satisfying win/win decisions and follow through. The final step (often missing) is what I call CLOSING THE LOOP! 🎥 Watch and Listen to the video NOW above, if you haven't already. You'll also find the video, among a series of others, on my YouTube Channel at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOazhuxLmJk.  Make sure you unmute and turn up the volume. When you're ready, visit our FREE Resources page for more information, publications, tools you and your partner can use to help you avoid common communication confusion many other couples have experienced at one time or another. 👉https://loom.ly/9zR5jA0 👈

When You Feel Stuck—Or Choose to Remain—In A Difficult Relationship

COVID-19 Lockdown Update: This timely article has been broken down into the following sections: Introduction and Resources Facing Challenging Relationships Example Situations 9 Tips to Help When You Have Difficult Relationships When You Feel Stuck—Or Choose to Remain—In A Difficult Relationship With Someone Who Will Not, May Not, or Cannot Change The Pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in relationships. While there are no data on the numbers of people in difficult or disastrous relationships as yet, we do know that large numbers are struggling—be it in a relationship with a mate, a child, an older parent. Maybe even an employer or coworker with work from home (WFH) arrangements sometimes being unstable. My background has been working with people on the continuum of relationships. On one end of the continuum are those struggling all the way to people who call on me to ensure continued success or to make a good relationship even better. My goal is always to give people the confidence, tools and skills to come together so they achieve their dreams, goals and objectives personally and professionally. Sometimes it's not possible, so we partner to help some uncouple in as healthy a manner as possible. Some need to let go of difficult choices and rework agreements. Some just need to exit with support. As the data emerges I will share what I'm learning in the coming months as we wend our way through "these unprecedented times." In the meantime, relationships are relationships. Yes, the [...]

How a Good Coach Can Help You Manage Resentment in Divorce So It Doesn’t Destroy Your Relationships and Deplete Your Business

Resentment. It's the dreaded aftermath, the emotions that hand on, the “R” word that undermines a divorce and delays the healing process that must take place after. For business owners or partners, entrepreneurial or dual-career couples navigating separation and divorce in this day and age, the issues are increasingly complex and the stakes are high–both personally and professionally. Managing resentment that oftentimes and commonly accompanies divorce, behaving with grace and dignity, and making wise decisions for the long-term benefit of everyone involved, will ultimately result in a healthy, happier you. It will preserve many relationships, allow your family to function together when occasions arise, and safeguard your business and career interests and often preserve the assets. But how do you do it?  Going through divorce is not a time to go it alone. It's a time to seek support and guidance to work through the emotions and have a sounding board for the big decisions that will affect you, your family,and potentially your business for years to come. Few people "decide" to be resentful. Because resentment can be an unexpected,  insidious, and destructive emotion, it can catch you off guard, but there are ways to stop the resentment from taking you down the bitter road before it takes over your life. Seek a Coach To Help Manage a Difficult Emotion Divorce is one of life’s top stressors and the toughest personal experiences emotionally, financially, and practically, and even more so with children in the picture.  But there are secrets to [...]

7 Tips When You Resent Being in the Lead with a Colleague, Employee, or Mate

  Ridding yourself of resentment of being in the lead means taking responsibility for your role in the ongoing dynamic,  then taking action to make positive change.  Try these 7 tips and let me know how it goes! Are you in a relationship where you secretly wish or overtly want another person to take the lead sometimes?  Do you find yourself thinking “I always have to…” or “He never does…” or “She never brings up…”? Whether at work or at home, some people have a tendency to let resentment about taking the lead build up.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can take that step to rid yourself of resenting being in the lead by encouraging others to participate and by asking for what you want…..after all, your colleagues, boss, employee, or partner can’t read your mind!  Here are some tips on taking the lead on banishing resentment and sharing the load: Specify What You Want Evaluate where you want the other person to take the lead?  On the job maybe you find yourself heading up every meeting when there are others who share responsibility?  Or perhaps at home you continually wish that your partner would decide where to go on “date night” and not always leave it up to you?  Make your list so you clarify what it is you want.  Be concrete in your request. You are asking for specific behavioral change. Clarify Territory Take a look at your list and make certain that you [...]

When Men Don’t Fully Engage, It Deprives the Women In Your Life of Growth

No matter how successful you are in your leadership, or in your business or career, many men still cringe when it comes to talking to the woman (or women) in their life, about making a change that would please them. Especially if that change would meet their own needs--needs for understanding, support, intimacy, closeness, or just plain picking up a consistent mess. While culture is changing, we can blame this on socialization and a bit of nature. Do any of the following statements resonate with you when it comes to your wife, girlfriend, daughters or your mother – even though you are a grown man?  Or maybe they remind you of your female boss or workmates. You want to please the woman in your life; sometimes you feel like you don’t know how. You sometimes feel like she doesn’t acknowledge what you contribute to your relationship and the family. You want her to be happy; when she’s unhappy it makes you feel helpless or shut down. You wish she’d let you know when she’s unhappy about something else in her life versus when she’s unhappy with you; you wish she’d do more things to make herself happy. You want her to simply tell you what she wants or likes – because you can’t read her mind or when she does tell you what she wants it sounds too vague or global and you’d like more concrete requests. If I were showing these statements to a roomful of men, you’d see [...]

Couple Communication During and After Divorce: Tips To Stay Non-Reactive With Your Ex

Divorce Is Messy Going into a divorce is an emotionally messy process no matter how it begins or how it evolves. Oftentimes couples get caught up in an emotional battle or competition with one another over who is right or wrong. They play out the battle out using finances, living arrangements, schedules, and especially their children as pawns. For some couples this battle continues long after the divorce is over. The adults never heal; the children suffer. Face The Facts If your mate has asked for a divorce and if you’ve discussed an option for counseling to repair the marital damage and this is refused, it’s important to face the facts that the choice for divorce may be out of your control simply because your mate wants it. Facing the facts doesn’t mean you have to like it. But you do have to accept it if the choice is out of your control. You are going to be sad and angry, confused and you are going to grieve—even if you are the one asking for the divorce. You may not have control over your mate or your emotions, but what you do have control over is how you handle this jumble of emotions and how you handle the process going forward. How you behave and how you communicate will help determine the length of time it takes to finalize your divorce and the financial cost. How you behave will also help determine how you and your children adjust to the [...]

If Divorce Seems Inevitable Here’s Where to Start

The Covid pandemic and lockdown strengthened many relationships. However, it's also strained many to the point of separation and divorce. Numerous couples ready for divorce in early 2020 had to continue living together because of the virus and dangers of moving a household. Others could not afford to separate and divorce due to economic hardship. The line to attorneys and divorce court has increased in recent months as we've moved from full lockdown to social distancing and society opening up gradually again. This article breaks down information and tips for those who are facing a strained relationship that is inevitably heading toward divorce court. Understanding what you are experiencing Understanding your legal options How to become better at negotiating Additional resources In my work as a Business, Career, and Relationship Coach and Strategist, I’ve worked with individuals and couples at all stages of relationships for over 35 years. As someone who has worked on both sides of relationships—coming together and growing apart—I'm a firm believer in gaining perspective on these major life decisions by seeking coaching help. Then if you still decide to end the relationship, do that with help. So you proceed with grace and dignity. You have to live with yourself and the consequences for the rest of your life, especially if you have children and businesses. And you will always be a family if you have children. While many couples want coaching and counseling to make their relationship more satisfying, some are so disconnected one or both [...]

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