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janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com

Coaching Handles Difficulties of Divorce so You Don’t Destroy Relationships or Endanger Your Business

Business owners facing divorce need support, guidance and an expert sounding board to make many unplanned for personal and business decisions. Resentment. It's the dreaded aftermath, the emotions that hand on, the “R” word that undermines a divorce and delays the healing process that must take place after. For business owners or partners, entrepreneurial or dual-career couples navigating separation and divorce in this day and age, the issues are increasingly complex and the stakes are high–both personally and professionally. This is even more fraught if there are children in the picture on the personal front. If you have children how you deal with adversity will be a model for them in their lives. On the business side how you work through your break-up or divorce can have ramifications for employees and others around you. So care for all is required. This can be extra stressful for you. This article will show you how a good coaching can help you manage resentment in divorce so it doesn't destroy your relationships or deplete your business in the process. Managing resentment that oftentimes and commonly accompanies divorce, behaving with grace and dignity, and making wise decisions for the long-term benefit of everyone involved, will ultimately result in a healthy, happier you. It will preserve many relationships, allow your family to function together when occasions arise, and safeguard your business and career interests and often preserve the assets. But how do you do it?  Going through divorce is not a time to [...]

Successful Business or Career Transition Planning Should Always Include Your Mate

Navigating Career Transitions Together During COVID-19 The Pandemic has been challenging on all levels of business, career, family, couple, and work relationships. I wrote this article before the pandemic hit, and hit our business lives, career trajectory, and pocketbooks. Work from home (WFH) is now highly endorsed by many, yet not possible depending on the industry and family needs. Business owners, dual-career couples, and couples in business together are spinning with demands. So reading this, your perspective on transitions you had planned before may be enlarged to include not only transitioning out of a company or high-level job down the road—but maybe a shift or major reroute altogether. Some of you are leaving your company and taking a new position. Or your mate is. Or maybe you need to have further discussions about going into business together. Or one of you wants to go back to school to be retooled. Retirement or slowing down may be pushed down the road. Either due to economics, recent life experience or just the facts and changes brought about internally or externally, the concept of "transition" may now need to become "revision" or "re-imagine." And you need to do it together. Because you impact one another. Like a mobile one parts shift and they all shift. Psychologically we're called on to change. To be created in our responses. Not immediately in some circumstances, but that's the ultimate outcome we need to open to. So those that use imagination, who "imagine" and "re-imagine" will [...]

A Coaching Approach to Strengthen Your Business Partnership

In the beating heart of every entrepreneur, business owner, and business partner, is a desire to move with ease and speed, to be one step ahead of the curve, to have a partner and team working smoothly in the flow, laser-focused on achieving mutual goals and agreed upon outcomes, driven to succeed. The article dives into the core benefits of a Big Picture Partner Approach to business coaching and how it can help you become strong and more successful together. A business is a fertile ground for partnering with one or more people, often with complimentary skills, energy and enthusiasm, sometimes investing money, bringing connections, or a book of business. Like many relationships, business partnerships are sometimes humorously referred to as a working marriage. Both are “working relationships.” Humor highlights the complexity such close relationships bring. And like the long-term commitment of a personal relationship, the spirit that brings people together in business also requires interpersonal skill and attention to make the business and the relationship successful over the long haul. Yet while business partners enter into their legal and working relationship with positive expectations, even enthusiasm, statistics show that anywhere between 50% to 70% of business partnerships ultimately fail. How do you inoculate yourself against such a demise? This article introduces an approach to navigating an important business relationship that should be a great asset to you and your business. It offers insight into the mindset, skills, and tools to work as Big Picture Partners™. This style of [...]

Business Partners Experience Big Problems in Unilateral Decision-Making

Unilateral Decision-Makers Typically Function Like Roommates in a Business Relationship In business partnerships, Unilateral Decision-Makers are initially attracted to what they perceive as one another’s equal competence, independence, and productivity. These are typically seen as complementary skill sets which advance their business. This is also a common default relationship style among independent, educated, highly ambitious couples, who are sometimes couples in business together, running a home and an office together. When this business relationship is working, each partner typically feels energized, supported, and trusting of the work, the relationship, and the business future. It's fun! Parallel Play Having characteristics of most entrepreneurs, these business owners are focused on making their vision a reality. They each tend to have take-charge and in-control personalities. When doing business partner coaching or consulting, I note that a major defining characteristic of the Unilateral Decision-Maker business owners is that they make decisions independent of one another. Often this is done with the best of intentions, assuming they will be in agreement, but without consciously taking their partner’s feedback into consideration, or requesting it. These Unilateral Decision-Maker business partners are individuals who may appear to discuss, check in, or consult with one another from time to time, or even on a regular basis. What they may or may not be aware of, is that they are working on parallel tracks. They really haven’t shared their thoughts, feeling, or made decisions together. They assent to one another’s decisions because they don’t disagree—especially if the business is progressing [...]

The Difficulties of Business Partnerships With Undefined Roles

This article is part of a series describing 4 Business Partnering Styles that can have an impact on you and your business. See a list of these articles and other resources at the end of this article. Partnerships With Undefined Roles Will Stunt Your Growth Misplaced Desire for Connection People enter into Undefined Role business relationships under a number of circumstances. One is when they dive right in to the day-to-day demands and assume they will sort out the roles later—or sort them out over time. And often, they never get around to it. Others fall into an Undefined Role style because they have an underlying, often unconscious, desire to share everything. In the beginning stages of start-up this happens frequently and may feel both exciting and supportive as they discuss everything, sometimes ad nauseam. Over time, this need for connection proves to be inefficient and eventually keeps a business from achieving the growth they may or may not have targeted. This style may lead to placing value in interpersonal relationship satisfaction above and beyond business objectives. This can feel satisfying in what is called a “life style business” but it frequently doesn’t lead to successful growth. Merging or Lack of Boundaries Another version of owners with Undefined Roles is seen in people who come together unaware of what it means to have a healthy, mature relationship. Often this is seen in all their relationships—professionally as well as personally. These owners have few boundaries and little autonomy. They may not [...]

How a Dominant Decision-Maker May Dominate the Direction of Your Business

There are 4 Business Partnering Styles that can have an impact on you and your business.  This article focuses on The Dominant—Non-Dominant Relationship Style. At the end of this article you'll find articles on the impacts of Business Partnerships With Undefined Roles, Unilateral Decision-Makers, and finally, the highly successful Big Picture Partner approach. One Primary Decision-Maker A key feature of the Dominant—Non-Dominant relationship dynamic, is that one person is in charge and ultimately makes the final decisions. Typically this is a one-owner or business leader situation, where full responsibility falls on the shoulders of that individual. When carried into a business partnership, the Dominant—Non-Dominant dynamic may be a clearly stated agreement. In this case, it is an agreed-upon mindset or perspective from which all discussions are had, goals are set, decisions are made, action is laid out, and accountability is followed—achieving the end results, and the expectations of the dominant person. Without such clarity, confusion may ensue. Domineering When the “who’s in charge” question is apparent, theoretically differences, disagreement, or conflict would not arise nor be addressed. It would be clear that the dominant individual’s preferences take the lead. If we focus on power and productivity in day-to-day relating within a Dominant—Non-Dominant dynamic, it will be experienced as more autocratic when it is demanding or domineering in nature. Such leaders are referred to as dominating, bossy, or dictatorial. Sharing of ideas and information feels unwelcome or stilted. Respect is absent, trust is not built, nor is it possible under these [...]

Four Choice Points Affecting Your Business or Career

A choice point is a wake-up call to reimagine your future. Over the course of business, career, and personal life you come to points when you’re dissatisfied, want growth, or desire change. A transition will happen no matter what, but what you choose will have a profound effect on the course of your life. How do you want to respond? Over the course of business, career, and personal life you come to points when you’re dissatisfied, want growth, or desire change. A transition will happen no matter what, but what you choose will have a profound effect on the course of your life. We call these “choice points” because you have a choice in how you respond or capitalize on them. Awareness of how decisions in one area of your life affect all other areas is complex. At a choice point you can move forward fully aligned, with confidence, or you can be reactive and become sidelined, resulting in future consequences you may not want. You can settle for less or you can take control of how you respond to the choice point so you build toward a better outcome. We’ll guide you so you confidently land on the best possible outcome that connects your immediate choices with the whole-life future you envision. With a ChoicePoint partner, you’ll transition with greater confidence and achieve the freedom you’ve earned.   “When an experienced professional adds ChoicePoint solutions, you can almost feel their body relax, they become excited again, more hopeful, they [...]

Owners and Partners: Facing Challenges of Leading Through Business Growth

All businesses and all individuals grow through natural stages of development over the course of a lifetime. Or they stagnate. They cease to grow. Natural growth spurts and transitions occur approximately every 7 –10 years for individuals; every so many millions in profit for business. This article speaks directly to business owners and partners who face the challenges of leading through business growth. Having a smooth functioning culture with happy employees who have support and resources for their personal and professional development starts at the top. For owners and business partners, a long-view toward future transition or sale puts markers for growth into perspective. When business partners are aware of these long-term objectives—and their partnering relationship is solid—communicating through growth stages and transitions, providing access to resources for individual development, and other cultural values naturally goes hand-in-hand with productivity expectations and profit markers.   Each stage of business growth brings many changes. Managing the transition and being prepared for different responses to the change requires leadership clarity, confidence and communication that frames employee response. Focusing on the desired outcome is key. Facing and Managing Challenges of Leading Through Each Stage of Business Growth Transitioning through stages provokes the need for change. Some owners are sensitive to changes on the horizon, anticipate, and plan ahead. Others are heads-down focused on the day-to-day demands. Such owners are often blindsided by unexpected needs. Individuals and relationships are strained. In business, with so much on the line, change requires understanding, negotiation, new [...]

The Mark of a True Business Partnership: Working For Win/Wins

In the beating heart of every entrepreneur, business owner, and business partner, is a desire to move with ease and speed, to be one step ahead of the curve, to have a partner and team working smoothly in the flow, laser-focused on achieving mutual goals and agreed-upon outcomes, driven to succeed. And, while hoping two minds are better than one is an option, we can help you come together in a true business partnership working for win/wins. A business is fertile ground for partnering with one or more people, often with complementary skills, energy and enthusiasm, sometimes investing money, bringing connections or a book of business together. Like many relationships, business partnerships are sometimes humorously referred to as a working marriage. Both are “working relationships.” Humor highlights the complexity such close relationships bring. And like the long-term commitment of a personal relationship, the spirit that brings people together in business also requires interpersonal skill and attention to make the business and the relationship successful over the long haul. Yet while business partners enter into their legal and working relationship with positive expectations, even enthusiasm, statistics show that anywhere between 50% to 70% of business partnerships ultimately fail. How do you inoculate yourself against such a demise? This is the first of many articles that introduce an approach to navigating an important business relationship that should be a great asset to you and your business. It offers insight into the mindset, skills, and tools to work as Big Picture Partners™. This [...]

7 Tips When You Resent Being in the Lead with a Colleague, Employee, or Mate

  Ridding yourself of resentment of being in the lead means taking responsibility for your role in the ongoing dynamic,  then taking action to make positive change.  Try these 7 tips and let me know how it goes! Are you in a relationship where you secretly wish or overtly want another person to take the lead sometimes?  Do you find yourself thinking “I always have to…” or “He never does…” or “She never brings up…”? Whether at work or at home, some people have a tendency to let resentment about taking the lead build up.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can take that step to rid yourself of resenting being in the lead by encouraging others to participate and by asking for what you want…..after all, your colleagues, boss, employee, or partner can’t read your mind!  Here are some tips on taking the lead on banishing resentment and sharing the load: Specify What You Want Evaluate where you want the other person to take the lead?  On the job maybe you find yourself heading up every meeting when there are others who share responsibility?  Or perhaps at home you continually wish that your partner would decide where to go on “date night” and not always leave it up to you?  Make your list so you clarify what it is you want.  Be concrete in your request. You are asking for specific behavioral change. Clarify Territory Take a look at your list and make certain that you [...]

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