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janhoistad@drjanhoistad.com

Coaching Handles Difficulties of Divorce so You Don’t Destroy Relationships or Endanger Your Business

Business owners facing divorce need support, guidance and an expert sounding board to make many unplanned for personal and business decisions. Resentment. It's the dreaded aftermath, the emotions that hand on, the “R” word that undermines a divorce and delays the healing process that must take place after. For business owners or partners, entrepreneurial or dual-career couples navigating separation and divorce in this day and age, the issues are increasingly complex and the stakes are high–both personally and professionally. This is even more fraught if there are children in the picture on the personal front. If you have children how you deal with adversity will be a model for them in their lives. On the business side how you work through your break-up or divorce can have ramifications for employees and others around you. So care for all is required. This can be extra stressful for you. This article will show you how a good coaching can help you manage resentment in divorce so it doesn't destroy your relationships or deplete your business in the process. Managing resentment that oftentimes and commonly accompanies divorce, behaving with grace and dignity, and making wise decisions for the long-term benefit of everyone involved, will ultimately result in a healthy, happier you. It will preserve many relationships, allow your family to function together when occasions arise, and safeguard your business and career interests and often preserve the assets. But how do you do it?  Going through divorce is not a time to [...]

If Divorce Seems Inevitable Here’s Where to Start

  Coaching Can Help You Handle the Many Difficulties of Divorce, so You Don't Destroy Relationships or Endanger Your Career or Business   The Covid pandemic and lockdown strengthened many relationships. However, it's also strained many to the point of separation and divorce. Numerous couples ready for divorce in early 2020 had to continue living together because of the virus and the dangers of moving a household. Others could not afford to separate and divorce due to economic hardship. The line to attorneys and divorce court has increased in recent months as we've moved from full lockdown to social distancing and society opening up gradually again. This article breaks down information and tips for those who are facing a strained relationship that is inevitably heading toward divorce court. Understanding what you are experiencing Steps to stabilize yourself during a divorce Understanding your legal options How to become better at negotiating Additional resources In my work as a Business, Career, and Relationship Coach and Strategist, I’ve worked with individuals and couples at all stages of relationships for over 35 years. As someone who has worked on both sides of relationships—coming together and growing apart—I'm a firm believer in gaining perspective on these major life decisions by seeking coaching help. Then if you still decide to end the relationship, do that with help. So you proceed with grace and dignity. You have to live with yourself and the consequences for the rest of your life, especially if you have children [...]

Stop Being “Nice.” A Guide for Straight-Talk Guidance that Grows Your People

At the gym the other day, stretching before a workout class, two men were sparring nearby. Mid-30’s, and mid-40’s, with humor but focused. Glove-less jabs and shoe-less rapid-fire kicks flew, interspersed with the ding-ding-ding of a timer set to note the end of each short round. Between each round, straight-talk, rapid-fire feedback was given, received and incorporated into the next practice round. These two were totally focused on increasing skills and achieving better performance. One man more advanced giving feedback to grow the other’s competence at something they both care about. Sports leaders are hired for their ability to grow individuals and a team. They are quickly fired when the skills do not improve, when the team does not go on to succeed. Measurements of growth and success are clear. Everyone is there to improve skills. For team success. They are there to get better. It made me think of the difference between the sports-world and the business-world. We expect and seek out straight-talk coaching in the world of sports. We hire trainers to kick butt - to lose weight, get stronger, avoid injury or achieve whatever our physical goals. We hire them for straight-talk, tough-love. So we get better. The Stakes Are High There’s far less consistency in giving, receiving and incorporating straight-talk input clearly aimed at growing the skills necessary to achieve individual and company success. Many people in positions of authority (here I include leaders, managers, even parents of emerging adults) avoid opportunities to grow their people. [...]

Suggestions to Eliminate Disruptions So You Can Run a Successful Business Out of Your Home

  This is an article with practical suggestions for the HOME-BASED Business Owner, or any of you considering running your business from home. Just Because I’m Home Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Working 12 Tips to Train YOURSELF to run a successful business from home Running a successful business from home is a continual work in progress. Not only organizing your space but then there's setting boundaries for your mate, kids, maybe pets, and delivery people, as well as setting work-life balance limits for yourself.  I used to do all my paperwork, writing, and coaching phone calls from home. Then I'd schedule clients in person and them at another co-working location. Separating locations helped me to focus on each type of task—the business of running a successful business at home versus time with clients focused on their needs. Then there was the pandemic. Like you, I brought my enterprise home full-time. Together business owners and families pivoted and we are all now well versed in running successful businesses from home. Some more smoothly than others. As the world opens up again, some workers really do want to go back to the office because of the stressors caused by disturbances at home. While these owners really do love their mate, their kiddos, and their pets, managing it all can be overwhelming. In 2020, the SBA noted that about half of all small businesses were home-based out of 31.7 million. Surprisingly, 3rd Quarter 2020 also yielded the start of more new businesses than [...]

5 Habits of Dual-Career Couples Committed to Balancing Work and Family

As a couple, you expect to be not only romantic partners, but also to partner in the business of creating a home, managing work-lives and possibly raising a family together. Stressors and uncertainties brought on by the coronavirus pandemic—the necessity to be-at-home for an even longer extended time—may be exposing the signs and symptoms of your relationship strengths, as well as your weak spots. Let's break this down... Self-Care and Addressing Your Relationship Needs The Benefits of Working it Out Together Five Essential Habits of of Committed Couples While the data is not in on impacts of this pandemic on couples, families and the society at large, we do know that when couples do not partner well it exacerbates feelings of disconnection. It leads to loneliness, living like "roommates" and many times, it leads to divorce. The accompanying fears and decisions the coronavirus situation calls for—the short and long-term impacts—can be overwhelming. Especially if you don't know how to stay connected and communicate well through the stress. It will increase any fissure between you. Big Picture Relationship Coaching keeps dual-career couples working successfully together, even during difficult times. It's done by supporting one another's individual needs and strengthening your ability to make decisions and arrive at mutually satisfying solutions together. Addressing Your Relationship Needs Is Part of Self-Care The phase we're entering now, with it's mixed messages about what to do and how to respond—is undoubtedly magnifying your couple connection. It may even be increasing the divide between [...]

Crafting Your Career and Life Story One Life-Stage at a Time

Careers, businesses and family lives develop through a series of phases. When fully—some would say success"fully" lived—each phase has an arc that rises, peaks, descends and resolves as the next begins. If you approach your career, business and personal developments with this natural structure and rhythm in mind, it allows you to live the current stage fully, anticipate and plan for next phase. This is true no matter your age, life stage or generation. Coaching can help you excavate these aspects of your life, oftentimes making a life feel richer in the reflection and taking intentional action. Nowadays, with such long-life, you have the opportunity to approach each decade, each 10 - 15 year phase acknowledging an underlying natural rhythm, focusing the arc of your activities toward outcomes—the personal and career growth, self-development learning and chronological life-stage accomplishments you desire—as you design, craft and create your life story. If you are a business leader, business owner or entrepreneur, on this foundation you can successfully craft the arc of business developments and plan the future with eyes wide open. Couples and Dual-Career Couples can integrate personal and professional with eyes wide open.   It's Your Story—You Get to Rewrite and Build Each Stage When you acknowledge the context of multiple 10-15 year phases, your career story takes on personal meaning—because you write it, and live it. Like many authors, the outcomes for their characters are not always fully known, but various factors compel the actions and eventual outcomes. The [...]

Keys to Confidence, Security and Emotional Connection for Couples: Creating a Big Picture Partnership

Big Picture coaching for dual career couples balancing work and family --so they create a strong partnership -- brings clarity and confidence you can achieve anything together. Skills that last a lifetime! Couples lives are complicated! Integrating both your needs while also balancing work and personal or family desires can be a challenge. Knowing how to work as partners, how to come together as a team, is a choice, a value and a skill that can be developed. When things are going well between you, your relationship and life feels good. Things work smoothly. Like many couples difficulties arise when you have to make decisions together and do not see eye-to-eye. When you want different things or have different needs. This can happen at any stage of relationship. Having the tools and skills to navigate your differences together builds a deep sense of trust. Its a sense of security and emotional connection that grows with experience as you go through good times and face life's ups and downs together—all the while focusing on creating the relationship you desire and achieving your dreams. This article breaks down the who, what, where and how couples can better communicate and connect to each other. Why the Destination Counts Different Approaches or Styles of Relating Benefits Course Offerings Choices of Relationship Style So, differences are not a bad thing. They are part of life, part of our individuality and uniqueness. Sharing who you are with your mate, your partner, and finding [...]

Relationship Reset: Let’s Clarify the Relationship You Desire

DIFFERENT STYLES IMPACT YOUR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS This video introduces 4 different styles of communicating and relating to one another that Dr. Jan has identified in every couple. When mixed together, they can create confusion and conflict. Consciously clarifying the style of relating your desire, and actively learning the skills to reach it, can help keep couples stay connected for a lifetime. Clarify Your Destination and Confidently Work Together to Get There You may be single, newly engaged, and planning your wedding, raising school-age children, or even facing the empty nest and “what shall we do now?” stage. It doesn’t matter where you are right now. What matters is—identifying your destination—where you want to grow with your relationship. Knowing your options and how you want to work together is key.   I’ve been coaching couples for many years, helping them develop strong, vibrant relationships and fulfilling work and family lives. What I know is this: Once you become informed about four (4) unique styles of relating I’ve identified, you’ll have an opportunity to decide just what kind of relationship you want to create. Then, learning the tools and skills of partnering will benefit you for a lifetime. I hope you’ll pay special attention to the benefits of the Big Picture Partnering approach and its benefits. This is what I coach, and am passionate about because it's where I see couples create the relationship they desire and achieve their dreams together. Use the free resources to help assess your own relationship style. [...]

Considering Career Coaching? 3 Ways Career Coaching Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

Depending on the environment or field you work in, the concept of having a coach, engaging in coaching, career coaching, even executive coaching or leadership coaching, may be considered as familiar as breathing air. For some of you, it may be a new concept you're hearing more about and considering. You're curious. You wonder if it might be helpful to you. Addressing this question in a global way, every few years Erickson International pairs with The International Coaching Federation to study the question of coaching effectiveness and gathers data on what clients say they have achieved through the coaching relationship and how it's changed their lives. This article is going to explore 3 ways Career Coaching can help you achieve your goals in business. A Look at How Coaching Helped Others How the Perception of Career Coaching Has Changed How Coaching is Really a Partnership in Your Success Aligning Coaching with Your Goals Before we get started, it's important to understand there are two different types of coaching. Skills Based Coaching: Most everyone is exposed to fitness coaching, health or nutrition coaching, or weight-loss coaching. Nowadays there are experts in every field ready to share their expertise to help you achieve those goals. Getting help with your resume, elevator speech, confidence, presence, or networking skills may fall into this category. These types of coaching are more specifically focused on developing a skill or outcome (lose weight, develop a good presentation deck, speak more confidently in front of a group, and [...]

Relationship Reset: Owning Your Core Message to Build Strong Communication

If there's one thing the past few challenging years have been consistent about, it's highlighting our struggle with communication - shining a light on communication strengths & weaknesses. When those weaknesses took control they created bigger and bigger divides between partners. Dr. Jan's video tips highlight common communication struggles and how you can overcome them when you commit to your core message. Her video tip about owning your core message is a pretty amazing one for partners and couples. ⠀ SHARE THIS VIDEO From YouTube with someone you care about 🎥 https://loom.ly/-Dmp9T8 🎬 ⠀ This is just one of Dr. Jan's many tips and techniques for couples who want to strengthen their relationship - whether they're just starting out in life together, or they're working on their Golden Anniversary. ⠀ ⠀ ✍ Reach out and set up your complimentary Discover Call to learn more techniques for you and your partner this year. Or... ⠀ ⠀

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