The pandemic and massive cultural shifts these past few years have brought out the best, the ho-hum, and the most challenging in couples’ relationships. The data is mixed. Some sources note that 34% of married men and women ages 18 – 55 years report impacts of stress on their relationships. Some report dramatic increases in divorce filings between 2020 and the previous year. Yet other indications show increased resiliency, strength, even appreciation between mates.
Work from home, flexible hours and greater income for many has opened options like never before. Everyone is embracing the need for greater mental health care and time with your family and loved ones is high priority we are all learning to integrate into our lives. With all these tectonic shifts impacting you, it’s a great time to assess, retool and revisit what’s most important in your relationships.
It’s a Wrap—Or Is It?
So, as we turn a page on this year, I encourage you to not just slam the book shut. Take this opportunity to assess your relationship and how you’d like it to be.
You already know that when your relationship is new and it’s easy to show your “best self,” enjoy one another’s company and imagine a bright future together. As you blend your lives and daily responsibilities, other parts of ourselves, needs and demands come to the forefront.
All normal, right?
Yes. This is when the formation of your relationship really enters in. So many wish or expect that a “good” relationship will just evolve on its own. Actually, it takes a bit of effort. Now, this doesn’t have to be awful of difficult unless you let difficulties pile up or shove them under the rug. Where you trip over them time and time again. Maybe that’s happened too often this year?
If so, it’s a choice. You can become empowered with tools and skills that time-tested data and boatloads of research shows contribute to keeping your relationship happy, healthy, and strong. Or you can coast and hope it goes okay forever, or improves if it’s not going so great. One way is proactive. The other, reactive. Even passive. You probably have a lot of history, extended family and friend connections, financial intermingling, maybe a home and kids… Need I go on? I guarantee you it’s more rewarding—and a lot more fun—to get in and create the relationship you want, together. You can make a good thing better or revise and reset a relationship gone awry with expert help.
Stick with me here. I want to offer you a solution. But first, take a look at these questions. Where do you see yourself?
Describe the “Big Picture” of your relationship?
If you were asked to describe the “Big Picture” of your relationship with your mate right now, which would be closest to your reaction?
♥ Your heart flutters with excitement at the thought of your newfound love,
and your dreams and hopes together.
♥ You pause and feel the warmth you have for your partner—warmth that
often gets buried under piles of laundry or stacks of bills, but quickly
surfaces again; given the opportunity.
♥ You yearn for some time and freedom to be alone with your partner—away
from the kids and your careers and the endless responsibilities that have
taken over much of your lives.
♥ You’ve been fighting or avoiding one another—so many topics are
unresolved and the resentment is growing—you are tired of the discord
♥ You remember the dreams the two of you had talked about accomplishing
together but have never been able to attain.
♥ You remember the way you felt long ago when you and your partner first
fell in love—and you wonder how so many of those feelings have
disappeared over the years.
♥ You feel both frightened and hopeful—hopeful because after a string of
poor decisions about partners, you’ve finally committed yourself to
someone wonderful, but frightened that you may make the same mistakes
all over again.
♥ You wonder, now that the kids are finally grown up or because you’re
nearing retirement, if the two of you can renew the passion and
the commitment you felt for each other so many years ago.
“If any of these feelings resonates with you, you’ve come to the right place. Together we’ll clarify where you are now and the destination you desire. Then we’ll customize the mindset, tools and skills of the Big Picture Relationship Coaching approach to focus on your needs and desired outcome. I’ll share the concepts and you’ll practice at home. Then we’ll refine it til your relationship is humming smoothly—and you’re achieving everything you desire.”
-Dr. Jan Hoistad
If any of these feelings resonate with you, you’ve come to the right place. I want to tell you about Big Picture Partnering, an approach to relationship approach that helps couples rejuvenate their romance and create a new and ongoing connection based on commitment, support, adventure, and joy.
We all know the attraction, excitement, and understanding that accompany the early days and months of courtship. This initial connection is challenged as we face life’s demands and often take one another and our relationship for granted. You want to keep the good feelings alive or know how to reinvigorate them if they have diminished. Big Picture Partnering will empower you with the skills and show you how.
In this day and age, with so many choices, relationships are more complicated than ever. And we are living so much longer than finding ways to keep love alive is challenging for everyone. There is no longer one formula for a healthy, satisfying relationship. Years ago (in your grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ day) when there were fewer options, people knew what was expected of them and of a relationship. They did not question their happiness or satisfaction as we do today. They often married, sometimes for love, but almost always for survival and economic reasons. All that has changed. You want and expect so much more. You want to be fulfilled as individuals, to love and be loved, to be happy in your most important relationship. You want to live a thriving life.
With many two-career couples, couples running businesses individually or even together, and couples committed to one staying home to run the household organization supporting one career, the stressors can be high, choices numerous. Staying connected to one another, living your values, and focused on your big picture vision is more important than ever. So is knowing how to make those visions a reality.
Big Picture Partnering offers a new model. In this easy to follow relationship coaching approach. You will learn the time-tested, research-based concepts, tools, and skills that help you create a satisfying partnership together. It’s a partnership that is as satisfying as your work, your friendships, and your hobbies. Big Picture Partnering will teach you how to quickly put things right when they have gotten off track. Big Picture Partnering is the solution. It isn’t just a skill or technique, nor is it therapy or fixing what’s wrong with either partner in the relationship. Big Picture Partnering teaches you the basic steps that, when combined and practiced consistently, keep your connection alive and your relationship rock-solid. This Big Picture approach is a completely different way of being in a partnership—and of being together in the world—that offers couples lives full of spontaneity and possibility.
A Special Kind of Relationship Coaching
“When we came in you weren’t vague you said, ‘This is what you’ll get from this program. These are the benefits. These are the tools you’ll get. You can use them forever. This is how it will be delivered. And his is what you’ll need to do to achieve your goals.’ Boom. Not vague. Totally clear. I’m a great salesman and that is great sales. It’s everything we are getting.”
-Ian S, Married, Dual Careers, College-Age Kids
Big Picture Partnering is an approach to relationship coaching that can help any committed couple—no matter where you are today—either rejuvenate your connection or make a good relationship even better. Applying the tools, you’ll solidify a foundation of commitment and teamwork, individuality and mutuality, adventure, and joy. You’ll learn how to navigate differences so you easily arrive at mutual decisions together and stay focused on the “big picture” that brought you together in the first place. Empowered with the tools and skills you’ll discover a sense of confidence and pride in your relationship, knowing you can face any of life’s challenges or demands together. And you’ll achieve goals that previously were only mythical dreams—making them a reality. The tools and skills are do-able, your goals are achievable. They are tools you can use for a lifetime.
How We Do It
We’ll work together to achieve your goals and dreams. Through relationship coaching, you will learn the concepts, tools, and skills that help you create a satisfying partnership together. It’s a partnership that is as satisfying as your work, your friendships, and your hobbies. This coaching approach will teach you how to put things right when they have gotten off track. It isn’t just a skill or technique, nor is it therapy or fixing what’s wrong with either partner in the relationship. Big Picture Partnering teaches you steps that, when combined and practiced consistently, keep your connection alive and your relationship rock-solid. This Big Picture approach is a completely different way of being in a partnership—and of being together in the world—that offers couples lives full of connection, spontaneity, and possibility.
You Relationship Adventure: The Big Picture Way
Now that you’ve been introduced, you may desire to learn more.
Whether you are new to the relationship, heading toward matrimony, planning your family, or looking at life after an empty nest, you want to stay in love, stay connected, and have a thriving next phase of your life together. If you are experiencing difficulties and want to learn a new way or you simply want to make a good thing even better, be sure to read on for ways to work with Dr. Jan.
- Check out our Coaching Solutions for Couples.
- Read about other Couples Relationship Success and Case Studies here.
- If you haven’t already, download the assessment of styles of relating and reflect on how you’d like your relationship to be. You can find this on our FREE Resource page – You’ll be guided to think about where you’ve been and the destination you desire. What has characterized your relationship up to this point in your lives, and how would you like your relationship to look a year from now?
- You can always contact Dr. Jan directly – Reach out for a complimentary discovery call to discuss your needs and the best ways she can help.